{"id":9791,"date":"2024-01-13T04:09:47","date_gmt":"2024-01-12T21:09:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=9791"},"modified":"2024-01-13T04:09:47","modified_gmt":"2024-01-12T21:09:47","slug":"how-and-why-to-embrace-your-awkwardness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=9791","title":{"rendered":"How (and Why) To Embrace Your Awkwardness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"drop-cap text-big text-gray\"> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">T<\/span>wo minutes into my Zoom interview with executive coach and author <a href=\"https:\/\/pryoritygroup.com\/about\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/pryoritygroup.com\/about\/\">Henna Pryor<\/a>, I get a software alert on my computer screen: \u201cMac Update Required: Your Mac will automatically update when the time runs out.\u201d According to the timer, I had seven minutes remaining. \u201cWelp, this is awkward,\u201d I think to myself, before silently panicking about how I was going to explain to my guest why I had no other choice than to stop her mid-interview to restart my laptop. \u201cShe\u2019s going to think I\u2019m a total moron\u2026 \u201d<\/div>\n<p>Ironically, situations like this are the reason I\u2019m interviewing Pryor in the first place. Her new book, <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FGood-Awkward-Embrace-Embarrassing-Celebrate%2Fdp%2F1646871456%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx12113-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Fhow-to-embrace-awkwardness%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fhow-to-embrace-awkwardness%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Good-Awkward-Embrace-Embarrassing-Celebrate\/dp\/1646871456\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\" data-aff-intermediate=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Good-Awkward-Embrace-Embarrassing-Celebrate\/dp\/1646871456?tag=wgtrx12113-20&amp;asc_refurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fhow-to-embrace-awkwardness%2F&amp;asc_source=direct&amp;asc_campaign=no-campaign\"><em>Good Awkward: How to Embrace the Embarrassing and Celebrate the Cringe to Become The Bravest You<\/em>,<\/a> challenges the notion that nothing good comes from life\u2019s cringiest moments. In fact, Pryor believes just the opposite\u2014that being so-called &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/why-do-i-feel-awkward-myers-briggs\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/why-do-i-feel-awkward-myers-briggs\/\">awkward<\/a>&#8221; isn\u2019t a weakness at all, but often a catalyst for authentic human connection. Knowing how to navigate life\u2019s inevitable uncomfortable moments while they\u2019re happening and embrace the resulting awkwardness can propel us beyond self-imposed limits, fostering resilience and inner strength.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUnless someone has cracked the code on how to eliminate all moments of uncertainty, awkwardness is something you\u2019re going to experience,\u201d says Pryor. \u201cIf we want to grow and be better humans, then we have to be very intentional about embracing these moments and getting good at them, not avoiding them altogether.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Pryor\u2019s working definition of awkwardness is the social emotion that we feel when our internal reality doesn\u2019t match our external reality. \u201cIt\u2019s what we feel when our true self is momentarily at odds with the person on display,\u201d she explains. \u201cThat tension and that gap is awkwardness.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201c[Awkwardness is] what we feel when our true self is momentarily at odds with the person on display.\u201d \u2014Henna Pryor, executive coach and author of <em>Good Awkward\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Case in point: my (temporarily) botched interview. On the inside, I know I am a seasoned journalist who can conduct a proper interview. But what I\u2019m worried about is presenting Pryor\u2014on whom I have 30 minutes to make a good impression\u2014with the image of a person who is unprepared for our conversation and isn\u2019t taking her time seriously. It\u2019s awkward! But what\u2019s more awkward is potentially having my computer spontaneously restart in the middle of our Zoom interview <em>without<\/em> giving her a proper warning. I had to say something.<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline text-h5 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-embrace-awkwardness\/\" current-title=\"It\u2019s 2024, and Being Cringe Is the New Cool (Promise)\" current-image=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Well-Mess_Feature_Your-Awkwardness-Might-Be-Your-Greatest-Strength_feature_418x278_true_70.webp\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-07-12\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-embrace-awkwardness\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-embrace-awkwardness\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-embrace-awkwardness\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>After much internal deliberation, I worked up the courage to just tell Pryor what was going on, which she understood was out of my control. We happily agreed to pause our chat so that I could restart my computer and then pick up where we left off. When we did, I was glad I had just acknowledged the elephant in the room rather than spinning out about it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019ve illustrated the point\u2014[awkwardness] exists in uncertainty,\u201d she assures me. \u201cIt\u2019s really helpful to have a few strategies for how to deal with that proactively, if and when [these moments] do arise.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Are #awkwardmoments something we wish we could leave in 2023? Absolutely. But that\u2019s not the reality\u2014there are plenty of situations where the ways in which other people respond, react, and engage with your environment aren&#8217;t going to be what you expect, and awkwardness is what will follow. \u201cAll we can control is our emotion, how we react to the moment, and how we frame our self-talk going forward,\u201d says Pryor.<\/p>\n<p>Aside from making sure your computer software is up-to-date *before* a Zoom call, here are a few tips for learning how to get ahead of and embrace awkwardness.<\/p>\n<h2>How to embrace moments of awkwardness whenever they show up<\/h2>\n<h3>1. Reframe what it means to be awkward<\/h3>\n<p>Pryor says that the number-one thing you can do to embrace your awkwardness is to think critically about how you\u2019re using the word \u201cawkward\u201d in the first place. \u201cI want people to be thoughtful about how they use the word \u2018awkward\u2019 as it relates to describing themselves or their experience,\u201d she says. \u201cFor some people, it\u2019s a limiting box they put themselves in when the truth is, there is no such thing as a factually awkward person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She uses herself as an example. A child of immigrant parents, Pryor often felt awkward among her peers growing up. &#8220;My clothes didn&#8217;t smell like everyone else&#8217;s; my food smelled very spicy and aromatic in the cafeteria when everyone else was eating peanut butter and jelly,&#8221; she says. &#8220;Throughout my childhood, the &#8216;me&#8217; I wanted to be on display was always clashing with the &#8216;me&#8217; that was happening inside\u2014the two versions were not matching.&#8221; Even so, this awkwardness and discomfort around her classmates was still a <em>feeling,<\/em> she says, and not a factual reality. Which is all to say, awkwardness is subjective.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUnderstand that the statement, \u2018I am awkward\u2019 is entirely up to you, and understand that it is a statement of opinion,\u201d says Pryor. To help you remember that truth, she suggests using language that focuses on awkwardness as an emotion, instead, with statements like \u201cI feel awkward,\u201d as opposed to, \u201cI am awkward.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>2. Overcome the \u201cspotlight effect\u201d<\/h3>\n<p>Ever felt like everyone has their eyes on you, analyzing your every move? That&#8217;s the <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/10707330\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/10707330\/\">spotlight effect<\/a> in action. It&#8217;s natural to feel self-conscious, as if the proverbial spotlight is shining on every aspect of your appearance or actions\u2014which can cause a lot of stress, anxiety, and self-doubt. But the reality is, in most situations, most people aren\u2019t paying attention to you at all. Even in moments when the spotlight is literally on you, like during a speech or presentation you\u2019re giving, most people will be more focused on their own lives and concerns rather than fixating on your perceived flaws or missteps.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe minute a moment has passed, people are more worried about themselves\u2014they&#8217;re not paying nearly as much attention to you as you think they are,\u201d says Pryor. \u201cOnce we start to believe that, it\u2019s very freeing because it&#8217;s true.\u201d Reminder: You\u2019re not the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/main-character-energy-vs-narcissistic-behavior\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/main-character-energy-vs-narcissistic-behavior\/\">main character<\/a> (at least, not always). Breaking free from the illusion of the spotlight will help you foster a healthier relationship with yourself and learn to embrace, rather than fear, your cringey interactions or awkwardness.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Acknowledge what you can\u2019t control<\/h3>\n<p>Sh*t happens\u2014the more quickly we can get comfortable with the unexpected, the less awkward things will feel in real time. Pryor says it\u2019s impossible to plan ahead for every single scenario. After all, no matter how much you prepare for a presentation or rehearse a conversation or get your ducks in a row before an event, you simply cannot predict exactly how things will turn out; it\u2019s empowering to let go of what\u2019s out of your control.<\/p>\n<p>When you get through any awkward or cringe moment (which you will!) Pryor says to focus on the \u201credemption story\u201d\u2014AKA, the positive outcomes\u2014rather than shame-spiraling into the negatives. For example, let\u2019s say you were giving a presentation at work when you stumbled over some words in front of your coworkers. Your face got hot, your hands were clammy, and you lost your train of thought for a moment, but you quickly collected yourself and finished it out successfully. Rather than focusing on what went wrong and the icky feelings you felt, focus on what went right. Yeah, that one awkward moment didn\u2019t feel great, but you still put yourself out there and made it through in the end.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere&#8217;s a gift in the garbage that came out of that situation,\u201d Pryor says. \u201cMost of us don&#8217;t slow down long enough to ask ourselves what an experience actually represented and if we can give it new meaning.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>4. Use awkwardness as a social lubricant<\/h3>\n<p>Ironically, the avoidance of awkwardness will only amplify the feeling of awkwardness\u2014it\u2019s better to acknowledge and embrace your awkwardness as it&#8217;s happening to lighten the mood. \u201cAll it takes is one person to be like, \u2018Man, this is cringey&#8230; \u2019 and then everyone laughs, their shoulders drop, and the tension leaves the room,\u201d Pryor says. \u201cThe avoidance of it makes it worse. Naming it is connective.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>An easy way to do this is by using humor. Jokes, memes, and even that one awkward-turtle hand gesture can quickly make you and everyone around you more at ease. \u201cAwkwardness is universal,\u201d says Pryor. \u201cThe people we perceive as really competent are the people who lean into it and move through it, not the people who try to pretend it didn\u2019t happen.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>5. Remember: Awkwardness is always temporary<\/h3>\n<p>As mentioned, awkwardness is a feeling, and feelings aren\u2019t forever. \u201cRemind yourself that awkwardness is an emotion, and it will pass,\u201d says Pryor. \u201cSometimes it takes longer to pass than at other times, but it will pass.\u201d<\/p>\n<div class=\"disclaimers__after_content mb-[18px] mt-[16px] pt-[16px]\">\n<div class=\"relative mt-[8px] pt-[10px] pl-[0px]\">\n<p>\n            Our editors independently select these products. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission.          <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Two minutes into my Zoom interview with executive coach and author Henna Pryor, I get a software alert on my computer screen: \u201cMac Update Required: Your Mac will automatically update when the time runs out.\u201d According to the timer, I had seven minutes remaining. \u201cWelp, this is awkward,\u201d I think to myself, before silently panicking &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":9792,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9791","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9791","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9791"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9791\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9792"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9791"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9791"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9791"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}