{"id":9473,"date":"2023-12-16T01:49:06","date_gmt":"2023-12-15T18:49:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=9473"},"modified":"2023-12-16T01:49:06","modified_gmt":"2023-12-15T18:49:06","slug":"forging-new-holiday-traditions-as-a-first-time-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=9473","title":{"rendered":"Forging New Holiday Traditions as a First-Time Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">I<\/span> moved to New York City from Austin, Texas, about 10 years ago, terrified of what my life would be like here, but more terrified of how I\u2019d feel if I never gave a magazine writing career a real go. I tried to chicken out of living here and move back home multiple times; there was an eight-month stint in Dallas at a local magazine and plenty of job applications sent to brands closer to my home. But 10 years on, nowhere has ever felt more like home than NYC.<\/p>\n<p>That is, until I became a mom to twins this year. While there\u2019s long been a disconnect between where I need to be for work and where the people whom I love most in the world live, before becoming a mom, I could jet down to Texas to see family for Thanksgiving and bounce back just as easily for Christmas. But as my life has become filled with the new responsibilities of motherhood, that ease of travel and access to family has diminished. This year, it\u2019s been replaced with FaceTiming family in our Halloween costumes, photos sent from Thanksgiving tables miles away, and a bulk of the Christmas season spent apart.<\/p>\n<p>Starting a new family with my husband has made the distance from my own feel that much larger\u2014especially as we navigate our first holiday season as parents. \u201cLiving far from family [during new motherhood] means dealing with changes and uncertainties with less support, which can be emotionally taxing,\u201d says therapist <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Ftalkspace.pxf.io%2Fc%2F2372336%2F1164659%2F14729%3FsubId1%3DSTMSLS-1142693%26u%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.talkspace.com%252Fblog%252Fauthor%252Fbisma-anwar%252Fpage%252F2%252F&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fholiday-traditions-new-mom%2F&amp;event_type=click\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.talkspace.com\/blog\/author\/bisma-anwar\/page\/2\/\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\" data-aff-intermediate=\"https:\/\/talkspace.pxf.io\/c\/2372336\/1164659\/14729?subId1=STMSLS-1142693&amp;u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.talkspace.com%2Fblog%2Fauthor%2Fbisma-anwar%2Fpage%2F2%2F\">Bisma Anwar, LMHC<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Research has shown that younger folks living in individualistic societies\u2014like that of the United States, where the different generations of a family tend to live in different homes and cities\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0191886920302555\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0191886920302555\"><span>report higher levels of loneliness<\/span><sup>1<\/sup><\/a> than those living in collectivist societies, in which families have communal homes and support networks. Taking this in tandem with a 2021 study showing that having a baby <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/34073903\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/34073903\/\"><span>led women in England to feel \u201cdislocated\u201d<\/span><sup>2<\/sup><\/a> from their former selves indicates that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/postpartum-depression-causes-treatment\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/postpartum-depression-causes-treatment\/\">new moms often face a sea of change<\/a> that can rip them from their sense of place in the world, particularly if they lack nearby support. Indeed, anthropologists often use a parallel term to adolescence\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/www.matrescence.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.matrescence.com\/\"><em>matrescence<\/em><\/a>\u2014to describe the socioemotional transition of entering motherhood, as the process can entirely transform your identity in much the same way.<\/p>\n<div class=\"\">\n<hr\/>\n<div class=\"experts-in-article noskim py-[24px] px-[40px]\">\n<p>Experts In This Article<\/p>\n<ul class=\"!ml-[18px]\">\n<li> <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Ftalkspace.pxf.io%2Fc%2F2372336%2F1164659%2F14729%3FsubId1%3DSTMSLS-1142693%26u%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.talkspace.com%252Fblog%252Fauthor%252Fbisma-anwar%252F&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fholiday-traditions-new-mom%2F&amp;event_type=click\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.talkspace.com\/blog\/author\/bisma-anwar\/\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\" data-aff-intermediate=\"https:\/\/talkspace.pxf.io\/c\/2372336\/1164659\/14729?subId1=STMSLS-1142693&amp;u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.talkspace.com%2Fblog%2Fauthor%2Fbisma-anwar%2F\">Bisma Anwar, LMHC<\/a>, licensed mental health counselor and online therapist with Talkspace <\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<hr\/><\/div>\n<p>That\u2019s certainly been the case for me. While I wasn\u2019t sure what motherhood would be like, \u201cdislocated\u201d isn\u2019t a bad description in my experience. Over the course of the nine months that I was pregnant and the eight months since my twins have been here, I\u2019ve found myself fighting to get back to who I once was\u2014to feel like I once felt. Free. Unattached. However, as I\u2019ve gotten more comfortable in my role as a mom, I find these feelings just dig me further into a place where my life is unrecognizable from what it once was.<\/p>\n<p>The same can honestly be said for my experience of living far away from my family in Texas and experiencing the holidays this year on my own (albeit with my husband and kids). The more I pine for shared moments with my own mom, the further away from home I tend to feel.<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/holiday-traditions-new-mom\/\" current-title=\"How Forging Holiday Traditions as a First-Time Mom Has Brought Me Closer To My Own Family\u2014And Myself\" current-image=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/WG_Editorial_NewTraditionsNewMom_feature-425x285_418x278_true_70.webp\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-06-15\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/holiday-traditions-new-mom\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/holiday-traditions-new-mom\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/holiday-traditions-new-mom\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>To shrink that distance, however, my husband and I have begun to replicate certain traditions that we hold dear and carve out new ones of our own. \u201cCreating and maintaining new traditions can provide a sense of control and stability in a mother&#8217;s life,\u201d says Anwar.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cCreating and maintaining new traditions can provide a sense of control and stability in a mother&#8217;s life.\u201d \u2014Bisma Anwar, LMHC, therapist<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>A key way we\u2019ve done this is with food. Every Christmas Eve, my grandmother would make a Christmas punch that was an icy blend of pineapple, orange, and cranberry juice, set to sparkle with a bit of ginger ale. And in recent months, it\u2019s become a fixture at<em> any <\/em>holiday gathering. So, too, is a chocolate sheath cake that somehow is the only cake that gets better as the days go by. With every sip and every bite, I feel a little more connected to who I am and where I\u2019ve been.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEstablishing new traditions with local friends or immediate family can foster a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation,\u201d says Anwar, adding that it can also help with adaptability and resilience in early motherhood. \u201cIt teaches a new parent to navigate change positively, fostering a mindset that can be beneficial in various aspects of life,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>I always knew that I wanted to get individual Christmas trees for my kids\u2019 rooms that they get to decorate on their own to express their individuality. The Charlie Brown tree in their nursery is a chance to let them show their interests as they grow, but this year, it was also a nice way to establish a holiday tradition that I hope lasts a lifetime. And the same can be said of seeing <em>The Nutcracker <\/em>at Lincoln Center, visiting Santa in Bryant Park, and the list continues to build.<\/p>\n<p>Living in New York City offers so many opportunities for <em>anyone<\/em> to have firsts. I\u2019ve been here a decade, but I\u2019ve probably only explored one percent of what the city has to offer, even just around the holiday season. Getting to experience so many of these firsts with my kids acts as a nice balm to not being around the other arms of my family.<\/p>\n<p>After all, part of why I wanted kids in the first place was so that I could see life through their eyes and experience the wonder of childhood once more. Being an adult is filled with logistical pressures and societal expectations, but being a child gives us a chance to seek joy and believe in magic. In my first Christmas as a mom\u2014far away from home and expecting to feel a bit nostalgic\u2014the call to both of those feels stronger than ever.<\/p>\n<div class=\"block-thin post-citations mt-[40px] mb-[30px]\" data-module-init=\"main-2020\/post-citations\" data-module-immediate=\"true\">\n<hr class=\"!border-seafoam-dark mb-[24px]\"\/>\n<div class=\"post-citations-content flex flex-col gap-[24px]\">\n<p>Well+Good articles reference scientific, reliable, recent, robust studies to back up the information we share. You can trust us along your wellness journey.<\/p>\n<div>\n<ol class=\"!ml-[18px] !mt-0\">\n<li>\n              Barreto, Manuela et al. \u201cLoneliness around the world: Age, gender, and cultural differences in loneliness.\u201d\u00a0<i>Personality and individual differences<\/i>\u00a0vol. 169 (2021): 110066. doi:10.1016\/j.paid.2020.110066            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Taylor, Billie Lever et al. \u201cMums Alone: Exploring the Role of Isolation and Loneliness in the Narratives of Women Diagnosed with Perinatal Depression.\u201d\u00a0<i>Journal of clinical medicine<\/i>\u00a0vol. 10,11 2271. 24 May. 2021, doi:10.3390\/jcm10112271            <\/li>\n<\/ol><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<hr class=\"!border-seafoam-dark mt-[24px]\"\/>\n  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I moved to New York City from Austin, Texas, about 10 years ago, terrified of what my life would be like here, but more terrified of how I\u2019d feel if I never gave a magazine writing career a real go. I tried to chicken out of living here and move back home multiple times; there &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":9474,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9473"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9473\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}