{"id":8897,"date":"2023-11-18T01:18:03","date_gmt":"2023-11-17T18:18:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=8897"},"modified":"2023-11-18T01:18:03","modified_gmt":"2023-11-17T18:18:03","slug":"are-you-in-a-delusionship-meaning-and-effects","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=8897","title":{"rendered":"Are You in a &#8216;Delusionship?&#8217; Meaning and Effects"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"drop-cap text-big text-gray\"> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">G<\/span>one are the days when being delusional held a negative connotation, at least online. Thanks to TikTok, the clinical term\u2014which suggests a departure from reality\u2014has been <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@biancaxb08\/video\/7270227105588415790?lang=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@biancaxb08\/video\/7270227105588415790?lang=en\">rebranded as a playful new buzzword, \u201cdelulu,\u201d<\/a> to describe someone who holds an especially idealistic (and often unrealistic) view of reality. People are embracing the term as a means of manifesting the kind of positive outcomes that could only occur to them in a state of being, well, delulu, or unapologetically optimistic. Apply that energy to relationships, and you get the meaning of a \u201cdelusionship,\u201d or a relationship so ideal, it actually only exists in the mind of its delulu creator.<\/div>\n<p>The supportive idea behind being delulu is that being able to envision the positive future of your dreams (however big those dreams may be) is the first and necessary step to making that future your reality. It\u2019s the same general concept behind manifestation or intention-setting: You have to make clear to the universe what it is that you want in order for that thing to eventually happen. On TikTok, one user claims that being delulu <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@theluxuryink\/video\/7251793882197839146\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@theluxuryink\/video\/7251793882197839146\">took her from being homeless to owning a seven-figure business<\/a>. And <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@ayeitsanju\/video\/7244730313300282670\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@ayeitsanju\/video\/7244730313300282670\/\">another TikToker explains how<\/a> she quit her full-time job with no other job lined up because she was just \u201cin delulu land, thinking everything would work out.\u201d<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/delusionship-meaning\/\" current-title=\"No, a \u2018Delusionship\u2019 Won\u2019t Always Have a Fairytale Ending\u2014Here\u2019s How To Escape the Fantasy When It\u2019s Gone Too Far\" current-image=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/WG_Editorial_Delusionships_feature-425x285_418x278_true_70.webp\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-05-17\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/delusionship-meaning\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/delusionship-meaning\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/delusionship-meaning\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>The meaning of a delusionship hinges on the same idea of visualization but in a relationship dynamic: A person in a delusionship is imagining that they are in a relationship with someone (without any indication of that being the case) in order to manifest an actual relationship with the person (or one of a similar nature), or just because it seems to satisfy an internal need.<\/p>\n<p>Under the hashtag #delusionships, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/delusionship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/delusionship\/\">which has garnered more than 43 million views<\/a>, TikTokers are sharing stories about such imaginary relationships and connecting with others who\u2019ve taken similar paths (with varying degrees of success). \u201cMe rejecting every guy who tries to hit on me cause I want to stay loyal to my man who ain\u2019t my man but will be my man,\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@_youmadethatup\/video\/7252898273999228206\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@_youmadethatup\/video\/7252898273999228206\">reads one TikTok<\/a>. Another <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@theselfloveboss\/video\/7252279428603039002\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@theselfloveboss\/video\/7252279428603039002\/\">TikToker explains how<\/a> she played with delusion to get into an entirely new relationship.<\/p>\n<p>However relatable the delusionship might be, it isn\u2019t always the most supportive thing for your mental health to forge a relationship in your head. Below, dating experts break down the meaning of a delusionship and the key signs that you might be in one, as well as the potential harm such an imaginary relationship can cause, and how to break free.<\/p>\n<h2>Delusionship vs. crush vs. situationship<\/h2>\n<p>According to dating coach <a href=\"https:\/\/datingtransformation.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/datingtransformation.com\/\">Connell Barrett<\/a>, the meaning of a delusionship is like a crush on steroids. \u201cIt\u2019s that imaginary one-sided romantic fantasy about someone that you\u2019d love to date, at least in theory,\u201d he says. \u201cThink of Jim Carrey in <em>Dumb and Dumber<\/em>, imagining a blissful life with Lauren Holly\u2019s character. Or Laura Linney and her bespectacled office crush in <em>Love, Actually<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s that imaginary one-sided romantic fantasy about someone that you\u2019d love to date, at least in theory.\u201d \u2014Connell Barrett, dating coach<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>To be sure, a delusionship is different from a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/situationship\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/situationship\/\">situationship<\/a>. The latter involves two people who are mutually attracted to each other and have expressed interest in each other, but the status of the relationship hasn\u2019t been defined. This may be due to a lack of commitment or effective communication between them. In a delusionship, however, there isn\u2019t even a situation, simply because the relationship only exists in one person\u2019s daydreams.<\/p>\n<h2>4 telltale signs that you are in a delusionship<\/h2>\n<h3>1. You&#8217;ve never met them\u2014but are super into them<\/h3>\n<p>\u201cIf you start imagining a future and envisioning a life with someone whom you\u2019ve never met or been on a date with, that\u2019s a clear sign of a delusionship,\u201d says couples therapist <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conciergecouplescounseling.com\/kendra\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.conciergecouplescounseling.com\/kendra\/\">Kendra Capalbo, LICSW<\/a>. \u201cThese fantasies might feel intense and elaborate, but they exist only in your imagination.\u201d To similar effect, if the person\u2019s friends and family are completely unaware of your existence, Capalbo adds, your connection with them is probably a delusionship.<\/p>\n<p>You may, for instance, have a romanticized notion of a future with that celebrity whom you only see on social media or your Tinder match whom you just started chatting up a few days ago.<\/p>\n<h3>2. You\u2019ve met the person, but you rarely interact with them<\/h3>\n<p>While you may have met them, if you seldom interact with them and yet believe that there\u2019s a profound connection between you two, that\u2019s another sign of being in a delusionship, says Capalbo. She gives the example of believing that you are in a relationship with that barista who has chatted you up a few times as you were ordering your coffee\u2014but you don\u2019t even know their full name.<\/p>\n<h3>3. You\u2019re always putting in more effort than they are<\/h3>\n<p>In other delusionships, you might have some level of a real-life romantic connection with the person. But while you view it as a relationship, they see it as nothing more than casual friendship or a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/rules-friends-with-benefits\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/rules-friends-with-benefits\/\">friends-with-benefits situation<\/a>, if that, and rarely initiate communication.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA common sign of a delusionship is when you\u2019re always the one texting them, asking them out, and generally putting in the effort,\u201d says Barrett. \u201cIf someone likes you romantically, they\u2019ll let you know.\u201d Meaning, a real relationship will involve active communication on both ends.<\/p>\n<p>Relatedly, if your messages to them are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/left-on-delivered\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/left-on-delivered\/\">always left on read<\/a> or they never include you in their plans, there\u2019s a high chance that your connection with them is mainly in your head.<\/p>\n<h3>4. You want a full-fledged romantic relationship, but they only want sex<\/h3>\n<p>Sometimes, you might just be delulu about the nature of the relationship you\u2019re in\u2014and not the entirety of the relationship itself.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAn advanced form of delusionship is when you\u2019re sexually intimate with someone, and you think that you\u2019re starting a long-term relationship, but they only see it as a casual hook-up,\u201d says Barrett. \u201cIf you\u2019re telling yourself that it\u2019s the start of something serious, but you only hear from them when they want to hook-up, then you\u2019re likely in a delusionship with the person.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Are delusionships harmless?<\/h2>\n<p>In many instances, a delusionship is relatively harmless\u2014particularly if it\u2019s short-lived (consider the future you might dreamily envision with someone whom you\u2019ve only just met), or simply a fun daydream surrounding a love you know full well will go unrequited.<\/p>\n<p>However, when daydreaming escalates into an obsessive fixation on the person, a delusionship can become harmful to you and in some cases, the other party involved.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you find yourself stalking their social media, constantly thinking about them, or getting upset if they don\u2019t notice you the way that you want them to, then the delusionship may be harmful,\u201d says Barrett. \u201cIn some cases, a person can go as far as to stalk, harass, menace, or worst of all, physically harm the object of their obsession. At this point, the delusionship has escalated into something downright toxic.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cYou may end up having a romanticized notion of them, disregarding any potential flaws that could arise in a relationship with them.\u201d \u2014Kendra Capalbo, LICSW, couples therapist<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>You may also be putting the other person on a pedestal. \u201cYou may end up having a romanticized notion of them, disregarding any potential flaws that could arise in a relationship with them,\u201d says Capalbo. That could lead you to set untenable expectations for future (real) relationships. When they inevitably fail to meet these romanticized expectations, you could wind up disappointed, frustrated, or with a constant sense of dissatisfaction, adds Capalbo.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re too fixated on your fantasy of a future with someone you aren\u2019t actually dating, you might also bypass opportunities to deepen your connections with friends and family members and date actual romantic prospects. That means you could be missing out on a real relationship with someone who may even be a better fit for you because you\u2019re too mired in your delusionship.<\/p>\n<p>To ensure a healthy approach to relationships, it\u2019s essential to recognize the difference between fantasy and reality. Here\u2019s how you can do so and break free from any unsupportive delusionship in the process.<\/p>\n<h2>6 steps to break free from a delusionship, according to relationship experts<\/h2>\n<h3>1. Acknowledge its existence<\/h3>\n<p>While it may not be easy, becoming aware that you are in a delusionship is an essential first step to leaving it behind.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt may be helpful to get perspective from someone else who can also provide valuable insight,\u201d says Capalbo. \u201cAsk trusted friends for their honest input on the dynamics of your relationship [or would-be relationship] with the other person.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>2. Understand that it might not be as meaningful as you initially believed<\/h3>\n<p>Once you\u2019ve identified and acknowledged that the delusionship exists, it\u2019s important to allow yourself to see it for what it truly is without embellishing or adding undue importance, Capalbo notes. In taking a step back to clarify what connection (if any) exists between you and the other person, you may feel better able to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotional-detachment-relationships\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotional-detachment-relationships\/\">emotionally detach from them<\/a> and move forward.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Analyze what need you may be trying to fill<\/h3>\n<p>The next step is to get clear on why you\u2019re engaging in the delusionship in the first place, especially if you find that you&#8217;re spending ample time obsessing over this person.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat emotional need are you trying to fill? Maybe you feel lonely, or perhaps you lack human connection, and your delusionship lets you feel a sense of connection,\u201d says Barrett. \u201cLoneliness hurts, and a delusionship can [temporarily] heal that wound\u2026but at a certain cost.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>4. Assess what the delusionship is costing you<\/h3>\n<p>Ask yourself: In what areas of my life is this delusionship having a negative impact? For example, it might be costing you time and energy or keeping you from actual love with someone who is willing to enter a real and reciprocal relationship, says Barrett.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNotice the toll [the delusionship] is taking, so you can confidently say, \u2018Enough! It\u2019s time to live in the real world, not in my head,\u2019\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<h3>5. Go on real-life dates (including friend dates)<\/h3>\n<p>\u201cDaydreams have their place, but as scary as it can be, it\u2019s much more fulfilling to find love in the real world,\u201d says Barrett, who suggests scouting out real-life dates (on dating apps or in-person). \u201cSpending more time in-person with some good friends can also help you to feel more connected to people in general,\u201d he adds.<\/p>\n<p>You can also ask friends to set you up on dates, or attend meetups for singles. At the end of the day, a real romantic connection, flawed as it may be, will be healthier and more fulfilling than a delusional one\u2014and it\u2019s worth putting in the additional effort necessary on the front end.<\/p>\n<h3>6. If need be, take a break from social media<\/h3>\n<p>\u201cOne significant challenge in the digital age is the temptation to constantly engage with the person through social media,\u201d says Capalbo. \u201cThe internet offers endless opportunities to feed our obsessions.\u201d In turn, it can be tough to disengage with the object of your delusionship when their pictures and whereabouts and activities are right at your fingertips\u2014even if you understand that the imagined relationship isn\u2019t actually supportive or helpful.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cGiving yourself a chance to disconnect can reduce the intensity of those lingering emotions and create space for healing and self-reflection.\u201d \u2014Capalbo<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>That\u2019s why Capalbo suggests <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/endless-scrolling-social-media-break\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/endless-scrolling-social-media-break\/\">taking a break from social media<\/a>. \u201cGiving yourself a chance to disconnect can reduce the intensity of those lingering emotions and create space for healing and self-reflection,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>If and when you eventually return to social media, try to avoid impulsive investigations into their activities or frequent scanning of their accounts. That way, you can gradually diminish the power of the delusionship and redirect your energy toward healthier relationships and personal growth.<\/p>\n<h2>The bottom line<\/h2>\n<p>Fantasizing about being in a relationship with an imaginary partner isn&#8217;t necessarily harmful, but if you&#8217;re spending more time focusing on this delusionship than you are finding and maintaining real connections, then it may be time to take steps toward detaching and moving on.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gone are the days when being delusional held a negative connotation, at least online. Thanks to TikTok, the clinical term\u2014which suggests a departure from reality\u2014has been rebranded as a playful new buzzword, \u201cdelulu,\u201d to describe someone who holds an especially idealistic (and often unrealistic) view of reality. People are embracing the term as a means &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8898,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8897","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8897","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8897"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8897\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8897"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8897"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8897"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}