{"id":8663,"date":"2023-11-08T05:21:11","date_gmt":"2023-11-07T22:21:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=8663"},"modified":"2023-11-08T05:21:11","modified_gmt":"2023-11-07T22:21:11","slug":"what-is-phubbing-meaning-effects-how-to-stop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=8663","title":{"rendered":"What Is Phubbing? Meaning, Effects, How To Stop"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"drop-cap text-big text-gray\"> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">T<\/span>here&#8217;s no overstating the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/social-connection-longevity\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/social-connection-longevity\/\">benefits of social connection<\/a> and the IRL gatherings that facilitate it. Spending quality time with a partner, loved one, or friend isn&#8217;t just a boon for your emotional health and mental state; it can support your physical well-being, too, contributing to the kind of social support that&#8217;s been shown to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC2729718\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC2729718\/\"><span>boost cardiovascular health and even ward off chronic disease<\/span><sup>1<\/sup><\/a>. But sometimes, it can feel like a one-on-one hangout involves a third party\u2014except this one isn&#8217;t welcome nor is it even made of flesh and blood because, well, it&#8217;s a smartphone. If someone in your life is always making their phone the third wheel, they may have the bad habit of phubbing, an unfortunate portmanteau of &#8220;phone&#8221; and &#8220;snubbing.&#8221;<\/div>\n<div class=\"\">\n<hr\/>\n<div class=\"experts-in-article noskim py-[24px] px-[40px]\">\n<p>Experts In This Article<\/p>\n<ul class=\"!ml-[18px]\">\n<li> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.drcarlamanly.com\/about\/\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.drcarlamanly.com\/about\/\">Carla Marie Manly, PhD<\/a>, clinical psychologist, life fulfillment expert, and author of <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2F44jzZR6&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-phubbing%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/44jzZR6\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\" data-aff-intermediate=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/44jzZR6\"><em>Date Smart<\/em><\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2F3POdkIg&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-phubbing%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3POdkIg\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\" data-aff-intermediate=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3POdkIg\"><em>Joy From Fear<\/em><\/a>, and <em><a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2F44EO1fR&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-phubbing%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/44EO1fR\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\" data-aff-intermediate=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/44EO1fR\">Aging Joyfully<\/a> <\/em> <\/li>\n<li> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theawakenedjourney.com\/about\/\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.theawakenedjourney.com\/about\/\">Claudia de Llano, LMFT<\/a>, marriage and family therapist and author of <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FSeven-Destinies-Love-Claudia-Llano%2Fdp%2F1913615820%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx9819-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Fwhat-is-phubbing%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-phubbing%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Seven-Destinies-Love-Claudia-Llano\/dp\/1913615820\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\" data-aff-intermediate=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Seven-Destinies-Love-Claudia-Llano\/dp\/1913615820?tag=wgtrx9819-20&amp;asc_refurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-phubbing%2F&amp;asc_source=direct&amp;asc_campaign=no-campaign\"><em>The Seven Destinies of Love: A Step-by-Step Journey to Awakening the Heart<\/em><\/a> <\/li>\n<li> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/willowgoldfarb\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/willowgoldfarb\">Willow McGinty, LMHC<\/a>, lead clinician at <a href=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/\">Thriveworks<\/a> <\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<hr\/><\/div>\n<p>Like the name implies, phubbing is a form of snubbing or ignoring someone in your present company to pay attention to your phone instead. While it might not seem particularly harmful to use your phone in the presence of others, particularly when our phones are the portals to so many elements of our lives, relationship experts say that phubbing can turn into a sticky habit with the potential to weaken your relationships over time.<\/p>\n<p>When we talk about someone who phubs, we\u2019re really talking about someone who compulsively uses their phone to the point where they sour their interactions with others\u2014not the person who occasionally scrolls through a social-media feed or catches up on the news over breakfast. \u201cFrom a therapeutic and clinical lens, I consider phubbing to be when someone is actively ignoring the people around them,\u201d says therapist <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/willowgoldfarb\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/willowgoldfarb\">Willow McGinty, LMHC<\/a>, lead clinician at <a href=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/\">Thriveworks<\/a>. \u201cIf putting the phone down creates a sense of anxiety where you have to pick it back up and keep checking it while spending time with someone, or if you feel the need to pick your phone up during conflicts, [that&#8217;s phubbing].\u201d<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-phubbing\/\" current-title=\"Is Phubbing Ruining Your Relationships? Here\u2019s What You Need To Know About the Connection-Killing Phone Habit\" current-image=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/GettyImagesPhubbing_418x278_true_70.webp\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-05-07\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-phubbing\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-phubbing\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-phubbing\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<h2>6 signs that you may be a phubber<\/h2>\n<h3>1. You take your phone everywhere<\/h3>\n<p>Many people are guilty of watching the occasional TikTok on the toilet or taking a peak at Instagram during a meeting, but you may have an issue with phubbing if your phone is an extension of your hand\u2014in that you go <em>nowhere<\/em> without it.<\/p>\n<p>If you can\u2019t get through dinner, or a trip to the restroom, or, well, an IRL conversation without some dedicated scroll time, you&#8217;re probably a phubber, says McGinty.<\/p>\n<h3>2. You prioritize<strong>\u00a0your phone over IRL interactions<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>If you emerge from conversations not really remembering what was said, or you find yourself losing track of a conversation in the moment because of phone usage, you&#8217;re likely phubbing, says therapist <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theawakenedjourney.com\/about\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.theawakenedjourney.com\/about\/\">Claudia de Llano, LMFT<\/a>. Also note if you choose to skip time with others to be alone on your phone.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>\u00a03. You feel anxious when you\u2019re not on your phone<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Smartphone and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC9707397\/#:~:text=Many%20studies%20have%20found%20that,relationships%20(16%E2%80%9318).\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC9707397\/#:~:text=Many%20studies%20have%20found%20that,relationships%20(16%E2%80%9318).\"><span>social media addiction<\/span><sup>2<\/sup><\/a> go hand-in-hand with phubbing: If you feel irritable, unsettled, anxious, or annoyed when you&#8217;re not on your phone or you&#8217;re separated from your phone, there&#8217;s a good chance you tend to use your phone while in the presence of others who deserve your full attention, says de Llano.<\/p>\n<h3>4. You need to check your phone to process your feelings<\/h3>\n<p>When you\u2019re having an IRL conversation with someone, various emotions can crop up. If you find yourself turning to your phone as a means of soothing when you\u2019re sad, angry, or excited, de Llano says this can signal an unhealthy relationship with your phone that can lead to phubbing.<\/p>\n<h3>5. You feel worse while using your phone<\/h3>\n<p>Getting sucked into your phone at the expense of present social interactions can satisfy a compulsion\u2014but not necessarily in a feel-good way. People who phub often feel like they can&#8217;t look away from or put down their phone even if they wanted to give their full focus to the people in their physical vicinity. Watch out for the feeling that you tend to lose track of time when you&#8217;re on your phone, says McGinty, or for feeling helpless or out of control while on your phone, says de Llano.<\/p>\n<h3>6. You are often asked to put your phone away<\/h3>\n<p>The most surefire sign of phubbing? Someone taking you to task over your phone usage. If you find that the people around you (whether partners, friends, or loved ones) often have to remind you to put your phone away and be present with them, you may have an issue with phubbing, says clinical psychologist <a href=\"https:\/\/drcarlamanly.com\/about\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/drcarlamanly.com\/about\/\">Carla Marie Manly, PhD<\/a>, author of <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FDate-Smart-Transform-Relationships-Fearlessly%2Fdp%2F1641704675%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx9819-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Fwhat-is-phubbing%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-phubbing%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Date-Smart-Transform-Relationships-Fearlessly\/dp\/1641704675\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\" data-aff-intermediate=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Date-Smart-Transform-Relationships-Fearlessly\/dp\/1641704675?tag=wgtrx9819-20&amp;asc_refurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-phubbing%2F&amp;asc_source=direct&amp;asc_campaign=no-campaign\"><em>Date Smart<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2>How phubbing can damage relationships<\/h2>\n<p>The main reason phubbing is harmful to relationships is that it reads as a lack of care for or interest in the person being phubbed\u2014regardless of whether the phubber intends to convey this message. Think about it: If you&#8217;re speaking to someone, and they&#8217;re engrossed in their phone, you&#8217;re bound to feel like what you&#8217;re saying isn&#8217;t important or interesting to them (or at least, not so much as whatever they&#8217;re doing on their device).<\/p>\n<p>This behavior has both in-the-moment and longer-term effects. \u201cIn the short term, the partner being phubbed will likely feel unseen, dismissed, lonely, and deprioritized. In the long term, phubbing behavior creates an emotional wedge between partners,\u201d says Dr. Manly. \u201cThe person being phubbed may also experience ongoing feelings of anger, resentment, and sadness due to the partner\u2019s thoughtless behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;In the long term, phubbing behavior creates an emotional wedge between partners.&#8221; \u2014Carla Marie Manly, PhD, clinical psychologist<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>These consequences of phubbing are borne out in data: Multiple recent studies have shown a connection between phubbing and lower levels of perceived relationship satisfaction in the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0747563223002145?via%3Dihub\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0747563223002145?via%3Dihub\"><span>context of marriage<\/span><sup>3<\/sup><\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/10.1111\/jasp.12506\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/10.1111\/jasp.12506\"><span>one-on-one social interactions<\/span><sup>4<\/sup><\/a>, and in one 2017 study of more than 200 married couples, researchers found that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0191886917300156?via%3Dihub\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0191886917300156?via%3Dihub\"><span>phubbing was a significant risk factor for depression<\/span><sup>5<\/sup><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s also a behavior that can stop new connections from forming. Indeed, excessive phone use is often cited as a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/first-date-mistakes-matchmaker\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/first-date-mistakes-matchmaker\/\">first date mistake<\/a> because daters who phub are demonstrating a lack of interest and consideration in their prospective partner, says Dr. Manly. In a 2023 survey conducted by dating app Hinge, 78 percent of respondents said they assume their date isn&#8217;t interested in them if they&#8217;re on their phone during a date, and more than 80 percent said they prefer dates where phones are put away for this reason. (The app even launched an entire <a href=\"https:\/\/hinge.co\/press\/distraction-free\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/hinge.co\/press\/distraction-free\">\u201cDistraction-Free Dating\u201d guide<\/a> to keep phubbing out of dating.)<\/p>\n<p>Even the mere <em>presence<\/em> of a phone during a conversation, say placed on the table, has been found to <a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/full\/10.1177\/0265407512453827\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/full\/10.1177\/0265407512453827\"><span>negatively impact closeness, connection, and conversation quality<\/span><sup>6<\/sup><\/a>, all of which are important <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/24111536\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/24111536\/\"><span>ingredients for healthy romantic ties<\/span><sup>7<\/sup><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>And the impact doesn&#8217;t just extend to the victim of phubbing; the phubber can suffer, too. A 2015 study found that both people involved in an in-person conversation reported <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0747563216302709?via%3Dihub\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0747563216302709?via%3Dihub\"><span>lower levels of perceived conversation quality when they were texting<\/span><sup>8<\/sup><\/a> during the interaction. Plus, a growing body of research has tied increased smartphone usage to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC9368281\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC9368281\/\"><span>low mood<\/span><sup>9<\/sup><\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com\/articles\/10.1186\/s12888-022-04419-8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com\/articles\/10.1186\/s12888-022-04419-8\"><span>anxiety, and stress<\/span><sup>10<\/sup><\/a> in the smartphone user, all of which can certainly have trickle-down effects on the quality of a relationship, too.<\/p>\n<h2>Why someone might engage in phubbing<\/h2>\n<p>Phubbing has been connected to a lack of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0747563216303454\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" class=\"no-underline citation\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0747563216303454\"><span>self-control, internet addiction, and fear of missing out (FOMO)<\/span><sup>11<\/sup><\/a>. According to Dr. Manly, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/signs-passive-aggressive-behavior\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/signs-passive-aggressive-behavior\/\">someone who is passive aggressive<\/a> could purposely phub their partner as a power play or bid for control. Whereas, someone with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-develop-emotional-intelligence\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-develop-emotional-intelligence\/\">low emotional intelligence<\/a> might just not know the impact their phone use has on the people around them.<\/p>\n<p>Others may turn to a phone out of anxiety or avoidance. \u201cIn general, a person who always feels the need to be on their phone\u2014even when spending time with a partner or friend\u2014is evidencing a devaluation of interpersonal connection in favor of the &#8216;safer&#8217; world of technology,\u201d says Dr. Manly. Translation: They&#8217;re passing off the heftier mental and emotional investment required of in-person relationships for the easy escape (and quick dopamine hit) of digital connection.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;We&#8217;ve created an environment of anxiety whereby we are all becoming metaphoric first responders.&#8221; \u2014Claudia de Llano, LMFT, therapist<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Because of the ways in which our phones have become so fully integrated into our lives, &#8220;we often just feel the need to be within reach of [them] in any number of circumstances,&#8221; says de Llano. (Yes, even the circumstances where there&#8217;s not really any good reason to have a phone nearby, like during an in-person conversation or date.) &#8220;We&#8217;ve created an environment of anxiety whereby we are all becoming metaphoric first responders,&#8221; she says, of our tendency to keep a phone always in sight.<\/p>\n<p>Phones also provide instant gratification and access to a vast amount of information via social media and the internet, making them tempting tools for dealing with any moment of uncertainty, confusion, or discomfort. \u201cBefore we had this kind of immediate access, we had to deal with the unknown and learn to tolerate the emotions that came with that,\u201d says de Llano.<\/p>\n<h2>How to stop yourself from phubbing<\/h2>\n<h3>1. Ask yourself why you\u2019re always on your phone<\/h3>\n<p>If you&#8217;ve determined that you may be a phubber, disconnecting yourself from the habit requires understanding why you&#8217;ve fallen into it in the first place. Dr. Manly suggests pinpointing what purpose your phone is serving when you reach for it in the presence of others: Is it a means of comfort, avoidance, power, or something else? Engage in some self-reflection, and take note of your mental and emotional state whenever you catch yourself reaching for your phone in a social setting. Simply understanding your instinctive motivation can help you move onto the step of setting digital boundaries.<\/p>\n<h3>2. Set boundaries for yourself (and your partner, if applicable)<\/h3>\n<p>Decide what <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/practicing-digital-wellness\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/practicing-digital-wellness\/\">using your phone in a healthy way<\/a> would look like. Get specific: How often and in which situations would it be appropriate to use your phone? When and where would it not be a good idea? Outlining these scenarios can help you come up with a reasonable time limit for phone usage per day and rules surrounding phone usage around others, says de Llano. Maybe you decide to place your phone in a different room for certain periods of time or during particular interactions, or you make an agreement with your partner that shared meals and important conversations will be off-limits for phones.<\/p>\n<p>If you find that you feel anxious during your new no-phone time, de Llano suggests working more time in nature into your schedule to both disconnect and ground yourself.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Go \u201ccold turkey\u201d to honor your agreement<\/h3>\n<p>The toughest part of breaking a habit is getting started\u2014which is why Dr. Manly suggests going all-in on curbing your phone usage, so as not to be tempted to phub every now and then. That means leaving your phone in your bag if you&#8217;re out (or in another room if you&#8217;re home) during any conversations with a friend or partner, and sticking by your time limits for usage. \u201cUnless you need your phone for work issues, it\u2019s ideal to not let phone use ever interrupt your interpersonal time,\u201d says Dr. Manly.<\/p>\n<p>Need some more ideas to lessen your phone usage? McGinty recommends setting \u201cmindfulness breaks\u201d during the day to make sure you have some phone-free time. Find a moment to breathe deeply, or engage in the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/54321-grounding-technique\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/54321-grounding-technique\/\">5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique<\/a>. You can also try this practice within the first few minutes of waking up, so you&#8217;re not tempted to immediately fall into a doom-scroll hole.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNormalizing being alone in public spaces can also help,\u201d adds McGinty, so that scrolling doesn&#8217;t get reinforced as a go-to habit for passing the time. To that end, it&#8217;s also a good idea to plan activities for romantic dates and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/friend-dates\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/friend-dates\/\">friend dates<\/a> that require you to move your body and use your hands\u2014meaning not <em>just<\/em> dinner or drinks dates\u2014so that it&#8217;s more difficult to phub in the first place, says de Llano.<\/p>\n<p>All the while, it&#8217;s also important to practice patience with yourself, says McGinty, because changing ingrained behaviors takes time and effort. That said, if you find that the steps above aren&#8217;t working and that phubbing is getting in the way of your ability to maintain relationships or get things done, Dr. Manly says a mental health issue could be at play. \u201cIf you can\u2019t conquer phubbing on your own, don\u2019t blame or shame yourself, and instead, reach out to a psychotherapist who can support you in fostering healthy habits.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>How to help a partner stop phubbing<\/h2>\n<p>If a partner&#8217;s phubbing is getting in the way of your closeness and connection, start by having an honest conversation about how their phone use makes you feel, and what you would need them to do to repair the damage. From there, Dr. Manly suggests talking through the steps above to understand their motivations for phubbing, set digital boundaries, and move forward with a plan in place for phone usage when you&#8217;re together.<\/p>\n<p>Remember that change takes time, and it&#8217;s natural for your partner to have slip-ups\u2014so you might need to redirect their attention. \u201cI like to start with a question, such as, &#8216;What\u2019s been going on with you today?&#8217;\u201d says McGinty. \u201cThen you could say, \u2018I noticed you\u2019ve been on your phone a lot, and I\u2019d really like to talk with you and connect with you.\u2019\u201d Calling out the phubbing in this way might be the only reminder they need to return to the conversation at hand.<\/p>\n<p>If they continue to phub or you\u2019re met with irritation, you could say something like, \u201cIs there something really important on your phone that you need to get done, or can we take a walk to decompress?\u201d suggests McGinty. You can also note what you\u2019re enjoying about your current time together\u2014perhaps you\u2019re at dinner and really loving a certain dish\u2014to help distract them from their phone and re-engage them with the present moment.<\/p>\n<div class=\"block-thin post-citations mt-[40px] mb-[30px]\" data-module-init=\"main-2020\/post-citations\" data-module-immediate=\"true\">\n<hr class=\"!border-seafoam-dark mb-[24px]\"\/>\n<div class=\"post-citations-content flex flex-col gap-[24px]\">\n<p>Well+Good articles reference scientific, reliable, recent, robust studies to back up the information we share. You can trust us along your wellness journey.<\/p>\n<div>\n<ol class=\"!ml-[18px] !mt-0\">\n<li>\n              Reblin, Maija, and Bert N Uchino. \u201cSocial and emotional support and its implication for health.\u201d\u00a0<i>Current opinion in psychiatry<\/i>\u00a0vol. 21,2 (2008): 201-5. doi:10.1097\/YCO.0b013e3282f3ad89            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Pellegrino, Alfonso et al. \u201cResearch trends in social media addiction and problematic social media use: A bibliometric analysis.\u201d\u00a0<i>Frontiers in psychiatry<\/i> vol. 13 1017506. 10 Nov. 2022, doi:10.3389\/fpsyt.2022.1017506            <\/li>\n<li>\n              K\u0131l\u0131\u00e7arslan, Suat, and \u0130zzet Parmaks\u0131z. \u201cThe Mediator Role of Effective Communication Skills on the Relationship between Phubbing Tendencies and Marriage Satisfaction in Married Individuals.\u201d <i>Computers in Human Behavior<\/i>, vol. 147. July 2023, pp. 1\u20139, doi.org10.1016\/j.chb.2023.107863            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Chotpitayasunondh, Varoth, and Karen M. Dougla. \u201cThe Effects of \u201cPhubbing\u201d on Social Interaction.\u201d <em>Journal of Applied Psychology<\/em>, vol. 48, no. 6, 2018, pp. 304-316, doi.org\/10.1111\/jasp.12506            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Wang, Xingchao, et al. \u201cPartner Phubbing and Depression among Married Chinese Adults: The Roles of Relationship Satisfaction and Relationship Length.\u201d <em>Personality and Individual Differences<\/em>, vol. 110, 2017, pp. 12-17, doi.org\/10.1016\/j.paid.2017.01.014            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Przybylski, A. K., &amp; Weinstein, N. \u201cCan you connect with me now? How the presence of mobile communication technology influences face-to-face conversation quality.\u201d<em>\u00a0Journal of Social and Personal Relationships<\/em>, vol. 30,3 (2013): 237-246. doi.org\/10.1177\/0265407512453827<br \/>\n\u00a0            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Yoo, Hana et al. \u201cCouple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction.\u201d\u00a0<i>Journal of sex &amp; marital therapy.<\/i> vol. 40,4 (2014): 275-93. doi:10.1080\/0092623X.2012.751072            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Vanden Abeele, Mariek M., et al. \u201cThe Effect of Mobile Messaging during a Conversation on Impression Formation and Interaction Quality.\u201d <em>Computers in Human Behavior.<\/em> vol. 62 (2016): 562-569. doi.org\/10.1016\/j.chb.2016.04.005            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Daniyal, Muhammad et al. \u201cThe Relationship between Cellphone Usage on the Physical and Mental Wellbeing of University Students: A Cross-Sectional Study.\u201d\u00a0<i>International journal of environmental research and public health<\/i> vol. 19,15. (2022): 9352. doi:10.3390\/ijerph19159352            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Hashemi, Shima, et al. \u201cInvestigate the Relationship between Cell-phone Over-use Scale with Depression, Anxiety and Stress among University Students.\u201d <em>BMC Psychiatry. <\/em>vol. 22, 755\u00a0(2022): 562-569. doi.org\/10.1186\/s12888-022-04419-8            <\/li>\n<li>\n              Chotpitayasunondh, Varoth, and Karen M. Douglas. \u201cHow \u201cPhubbing\u201d Becomes the Norm: The Antecedents and Consequences of Snubbing via Smartphone.\u201d <em>Computers in Human Behavior<\/em>, vol. 63. (2016): 9-18, doi.org\/10.1016\/j.chb.2016.05.018            <\/li>\n<\/ol><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<hr class=\"!border-seafoam-dark mt-[24px]\"\/>\n  <\/div>\n<div class=\"disclaimers__after_content mb-[18px] mt-[16px] pt-[16px]\">\n<div class=\"outline-earmark relative mt-[8px] pt-[10px] pl-[20px]\">\n<p>\n            Our editors independently select these products. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission.          <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There&#8217;s no overstating the benefits of social connection and the IRL gatherings that facilitate it. Spending quality time with a partner, loved one, or friend isn&#8217;t just a boon for your emotional health and mental state; it can support your physical well-being, too, contributing to the kind of social support that&#8217;s been shown to boost &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8663"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8663\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}