{"id":8445,"date":"2023-10-29T04:09:28","date_gmt":"2023-10-28T21:09:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=8445"},"modified":"2023-10-29T04:09:28","modified_gmt":"2023-10-28T21:09:28","slug":"what-is-echoism-unpacking-narcissisms-opposite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=8445","title":{"rendered":"What Is Echoism? Unpacking Narcissism&#8217;s Opposite"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"drop-cap text-big text-gray\"> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">W<\/span>hen your partner asks you what you want for dinner, you tell them that you&#8217;ll eat anything. Perhaps you\u2019re the <em>agreeable<\/em> one in the friend group who\u2019s always down to do whatever others want. Maybe you\u2019d rather hop into a freezing lake than disagree with a coworker. Or, you hate being <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/types-attention\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/types-attention\/\">the center of attention<\/a> (others singing, \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d to you is a nightmare) or want to be perceived as the \u201ceasygoing\u201d friend who doesn\u2019t have needs.<\/div>\n<p>To be clear, these feelings and behaviors are nothing to be ashamed of, but putting a word to what they <em>may <\/em>signify can be helpful for managing them. That word is \u201cechoism.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>What is echoism?<\/h2>\n<p>Echoists, or people who experience echoism, are&#8230; exactly what they sound like. \u201cIt&#8217;s a person who tends to mimic or reflect the feelings, opinions, or desires of others instead of expressing their own individual thoughts and emotions,&#8221; says <a href=\"https:\/\/www.realistic-remedies.com\/about-jamie\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.realistic-remedies.com\/about-jamie\">Jamie Genatt, LCSW<\/a>, psychotherapist and owner of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.realistic-remedies.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.realistic-remedies.com\/\">Realistic Remedies<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Generally, they have difficulty engaging in behaviors that bring attention to their needs and differences. \u201cAn echoist is a person who struggles to express themselves, receive praise or attention, struggles with emotional individuation, where they can decipher their likes and dislikes, and struggles to feel they are worthy of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-set-healthy-boundaries\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-set-healthy-boundaries\/\">setting boundaries<\/a> or having an opinion at the risk of offending others,\u201d adds <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ameliakelley.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.ameliakelley.com\">Amelia Kelley, PhD, LCMHC<\/a>, a trauma-informed therapist, author, podcaster, and researcher. She believes this is all in the name of regarding others\u2019 well-being over their own.<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-echoism\/\" current-title=\"Echoism Is Basically the Polar Opposite of Narcissism\u2014But It Can Be Just as Damaging in Relationships\" current-image=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/GettyImages-857304062-425x285_418x278_true_70.webp\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-04-28\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-echoism\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-echoism\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-echoism\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Although the stereotype of an echoist as being warm, modest, and ever-flexible may seem the opposite of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/narcissistic-abuse-in-relationships\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/narcissistic-abuse-in-relationships\/\">narcissism<\/a>, at its core, echoism is based in fear, McSparran says. Those who struggle with echoism are fearful of being or being perceived as narcissistic that they leave no room for themselves in their own lives,&#8221; she says.<\/p>\n<p>While discussing echoism can help people feel seen and supported, it\u2019s important to not pathologize it. \u201cIn the realm of psychology, \u2018echoist\u2019 and \u2018echoism\u2019 are relatively new terms, and there is no current correlated clinical diagnosis in the [<em><a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FDiagnostic-Statistical-Disorders-Revision-Dsm-5-tr%2Fdp%2F0890425760%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx9721-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Fwhat-is-echoism%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-echoism%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Diagnostic-Statistical-Disorders-Revision-Dsm-5-tr\/dp\/0890425760\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\">Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders<\/a><\/em>],\u201d says <a href=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/therapist\/oh\/whitney-mcsparran\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/therapist\/oh\/whitney-mcsparran\">Whitney McSparran<\/a>, LPCC, a licensed professional clinical counselor at <a href=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/thriveworks.com\/\">Thriveworks<\/a> who specializes in working with individuals coping with life transitions, anxiety, and depression.<\/p>\n<p>Echoism is also a spectrum, she adds, like other <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/personality-traits-psychological-health\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/personality-traits-psychological-health\/\">personality traits<\/a>. \u201cAn echoist is simply a person who displays or experiences echoism more than average.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Where does the term \u201cechoism\u201d come from?<\/h2>\n<p>Clinical psychologist, researcher, and Harvard Medical School lecturer, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/contributors\/craig-malkin-phd\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/contributors\/craig-malkin-phd\">Craig Malkin<\/a>, PhD, initially addressed this topic in his book <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FRethinking-Narcissism-Secret-Recognizing-Narcissists%2Fdp%2F0062348116%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx9721-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Fwhat-is-echoism%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fwhat-is-echoism%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Rethinking-Narcissism-Secret-Recognizing-Narcissists\/dp\/0062348116\" data-type=\"affiliateLink\"><em>Rethinking Narcissism<\/em><\/a> and has continued to explore it further in subsequent articles for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/romance-redux\/201809\/9-things-everyone-should-understand-about-echoists\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/romance-redux\/201809\/9-things-everyone-should-understand-about-echoists\"><em>Psychology Today<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>So why did he choose the word \u201cechoist\u201d? To answer this, Dr. Malkin points back to mythology. \u201cIn the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.britannica.com\/topic\/Echo-Greek-mythology\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.britannica.com\/topic\/Echo-Greek-mythology\">myth of Narcissus<\/a>, Echo, the nymph who eventually falls madly in love with Narcissus, has been cursed to repeat back the last few words she hears,\u201d he writes in one of those articles. \u201cLike their namesake, echoists definitely struggle to have a voice of their own.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>While echoists may be drawn to people with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/narcissistic-tendencies\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/narcissistic-tendencies\/\">narcissistic tendencies<\/a> in real life as it helps them stay in their safe echo state, he writes, their echo traits can exist outside of relationships with narcissists, too.<\/p>\n<h2>10 signs of echoism<\/h2>\n<h3>1. Avoiding attention<\/h3>\n<p>You prefer being in the background rather than the center of attention. \u201cEchoists tend to avoid the spotlight and shy away from attention or recognition,\u201d Genatt says, explaining that attention can make them feel uncomfortable. She adds this is the opposite of narcissists who \u201cactively seek attention, recognition, and validation from others,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<h3>2. Mirroring others<\/h3>\n<p>Along those lines, echoists don\u2019t want to draw attention to themselves by acting differently or disagreeing. They\u2019d rather mirror others\u2019 emotions and preferences, according to Genatt. \u201cThey may struggle to express their own individual identity and instead adapt to the people they are with, often at the cost of neglecting their own needs and desires,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Feeling fearful of displeasing others<\/h3>\n<p>Does this mean all <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/difference-between-empathy-people-pleasing\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/difference-between-empathy-people-pleasing\/\">people-pleasers<\/a> are echoists? Not necessarily, though some of the signs may look similar, since, in both cases, Genatt says, \u201cFear can drive them to avoid conflict and be overly accommodating, making it difficult for them to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-say-no\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-say-no\/\">say \u2018no.\u2019<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>4. Having low self-esteem<\/h3>\n<p>While narcissists act superior, echoists act (and feel) inferior. Genatt says they may downplay their worth or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/self-esteem-test\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/self-esteem-test\/\">view themselves as less important or less valuable<\/a>. \u201cThis can lead to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt,\u201d she continues. Unfortunately, it can become a cycle.<\/p>\n<h3>5. Difficulty accepting praise (or any attention at all)<\/h3>\n<p>Echoists are afraid of being perceived as narcissistic in any way, which is where this comes into action. \u201cReceiving positive feedback or attention can be incredibly uncomfortable for someone experiencing echoism because acknowledging their own strengths and merits can feel too close to narcissism,\u201d McSparran explains.<\/p>\n<p>As a result, they may try to minimize, explain away, or avoid any of that commentary or those situations. \u201cThis may look like the coworker who seems physically uncomfortable when you praise her productivity or attention to detail or the friend who would rather hide under the covers than have a birthday party where he is the center of attention,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<h3>6. Feeling they have few or no preferences<\/h3>\n<p>While part of echoism is not saying what you want, it can also entail not knowing what you want, or feeling like you don\u2019t care either way. \u201cAn echoist response of \u2018I don\u2019t know\u2019 may be completely genuine,\u201d McSparran says. They may be so conditioned to devalue their own wants or take direction from others that they don\u2019t know their preferences, she continues, saying this may look like a friend who \u201cdoesn\u2019t care\u201d what movie you watch.<\/p>\n<h3>7. Finding it easier to take up as little space as possible<\/h3>\n<p>Familiar with staying in the background and not speaking up, echoists feel most safe and comfortable that way. They don\u2019t want to come across as burdens, McSparran says, adding that in their view, this feels better and easier \u201cthan acknowledging that they are full humans deserving of care, respect, self-direction, and a place in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>8. Rejection sensitivity<\/h3>\n<p>While no one likes being rejected, to some extent, the experience may be especially difficult for echoists. \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria\/\">Rejection sensitivity<\/a> is an emotionally painful level of dysregulation in emotions related to potential failure and rejection,\u201d Dr. Kelley explains. As a result, she says individuals who experience this may be less likely to take healthy risks.<\/p>\n<h3>9. Unhealthy levels of empathy<\/h3>\n<p>Yes, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/difference-between-empathy-people-pleasing\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/difference-between-empathy-people-pleasing\/\">it\u2019s possible to be <em>too <\/em>empathic<\/a>! Dr. Kelley says empathy can create a stress response in our bodies as we experience some of someone else\u2019s pain with them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWith echoists, this can cause issues with chronic pain, stress, emotion dysregulation, and finally fatigue from internalizing other\u2019s pain and struggling to create healthy boundaries to protect oneself,\u201d she adds. Because of those boundary challenges, she says, echoists may engage in situations or relationships they don\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n<h3>10. Fear of abandonment<\/h3>\n<p>Not only do echoists fear speaking up and having needs, but they fear the ramifications they believe can result. So, they <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/why-conflict-avoidance-not-healthy\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/why-conflict-avoidance-not-healthy\/\">hate and avoid conflict<\/a> at all costs.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEchoists fear that if they express themselves, especially if it is not in agreement with someone else, that the person they are in a relationship with will leave them or stop loving them,\u201d Dr. Kelley explains. While this may not make sense to people who aren\u2019t echoists, it\u2019s a very real fear.<\/p>\n<h2>What causes someone to be an echoist?<\/h2>\n<h3>Parents \u201cteaching\u201d that behavior<\/h3>\n<p>Genatt says the way a person is raised can play a significant role in whether they become an echoist or not. \u201cIf someone grew up in an environment where they were taught to be exclusively compliant, always prioritize others, or were subjected to authoritarian or overbearing caregivers, they may develop echoist traits,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>From another perspective, they may have had echoist caregivers who modeled this behavior, according to McSparran. \u201cIn these situations, echoists learn that it is simply \u2018easier\u2019 to minimize themselves in order to avoid further hurt and conflict,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n<h3>\u201cEggshell parenting\u201d<\/h3>\n<p>Dr. Kelley shares this specific example of a childhood environment that can contribute to the development of echoism. She says \u201ceggshell parenting\u201d is when kids feel like they have to \u201cwalk on eggshells\u201d in response to their parents\u2019 unpredictable behavior, emotions, expectations, or outbursts.<\/p>\n<p>As a result, she explains, children may be deterred from caring for their own needs in exchange for meeting their parents\u2019 demands. It can be indirect in that way, or a result of more direct actions. \u201cMany of these parents discourage their children from expressing their own needs, and also struggle to take ownership for their wrongdoings and train their children to chronically take the blame,\u201d she adds.<\/p>\n<h3>Being a caretaker as a child<\/h3>\n<p>Further, if parents struggle with emotion regulation, a mental health condition, substance abuse, or other stressors, children may feel they have to be the \u201cadult\u201d in the situation. \u201cThis plays into the child in the caretaking role as they navigate how to calm their parent, as opposed to the preferred dynamic where parents teach their child to emotionally regulate through modeling or empathizing with their child\u2019s needs,\u201d Dr. Kelley explains.<\/p>\n<h3>Low self-esteem<\/h3>\n<p>When people don\u2019t feel like they have anything of value to say, they may not say anything, right? That\u2019s essentially what we\u2019re talking about here. \u201cWhen someone doesn\u2019t have a strong sense of self-worth, they may struggle to assert their own needs and opinions,\u201d Genatt says.<\/p>\n<h3>Insecure attachment style<\/h3>\n<p>This is another factor that starts in early childhood and continues into adulthood. We all develop one of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/adult-attachment-styles\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/adult-attachment-styles\/\">three attachment styles<\/a>: secure, anxious, or avoidant. Genatt says people with anxious or avoidant styles may be more prone to become echoists \u201cas they may struggle with forming healthy boundaries and assertiveness in relationships.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Experiencing shame or punishment for acting otherwise<\/h3>\n<p>Similar to some of the causes above, echoists can \u201clearn\u201d that their behaviors feel safer or more comfortable. \u201cEchoism can be a means of adapting to relationships or situations in which there are perceived consequences to requiring care or attention, acting in one\u2019s interest, or attempting to assert oneself,\u201d McSparran says.<\/p>\n<p>For example, she continues, they may have been shamed or punished for asking for support, expressing strong emotions, or advocating for themselves. This could happen at any point in life and have an impact, not just childhood if the experience is particularly emotionally intense.<\/p>\n<h2>Tips for working through and coping with echoism<\/h2>\n<p>Much like the challenges associated with narcissism, those linked with echoism spring from leaning too far in one direction: Just as it isn&#8217;t beneficial to think the entire world revolves around you, it&#8217;s also equally as unhelpful to think that you or your needs don&#8217;t matter in the slightest.<\/p>\n<p>Genatt says self-awareness, self-compassion, and a commitment to personal growth are important starting points for managing the challenges of echoism and are needed on an ongoing basis. Below are practical steps for moving in that direction.<\/p>\n<h3>Set boundaries<\/h3>\n<p>Focusing on everyone else all the time can be emotionally exhausting; you deserve to take care of yourself, too. \u201cIt\u2019s okay to say \u2018no\u2019 when necessary and to prioritize your own needs and well-being,\u201d Genatt says. As the saying goes, self-care isn\u2019t selfish!<\/p>\n<p>Then, McSparran encourages you to find ways to \u201cmanage related feelings of discomfort or guilt.\u201d To help with this, you may want to remind yourself why you said no (and that you\u2019re allowed to), distract yourself with a hobby you enjoy, or talk it out with someone you trust.<\/p>\n<h3>Be mindful of the company you keep<\/h3>\n<p>In other words, do your loved ones help you feel comfortable? Do they ask about what you want and genuinely want your input? Dr. Kelley encourages surrounding yourself \u201cwith supportive people who are themselves empathetic and compassionate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Further, those people are the ones you may want to try boundary setting with first. \u201cPractice sharing your feelings with these safe individuals to reinforce that you are worthy of support as well as your own opinions,\u201d she says. (More on this in a bit.)<\/p>\n<h3>Embrace yourself<\/h3>\n<p>While this tip sounds pretty big, it can be broken down into baby steps. To start, Genatt recommends identifying who you are, what you want, and what you need. She says journaling, mindfulness, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/free-meditation-apps\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/free-meditation-apps\/\">meditation<\/a> can help you explore your thoughts and connect to your feelings.<\/p>\n<p>Once you\u2019ve got an idea, remind yourself that those aspects are <em>good<\/em>. \u201cCelebrate your uniqueness and individuality,\u201d Genatt says. \u201cEmbrace your own preferences and opinions, even if they differ from others.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Practice being disagreeable<\/h3>\n<p>Have an idea of what you like and don\u2019t like? Share it!<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Kelley suggests disagreeing more freely, even if it\u2019s difficult. You can start small, she says, with topics like music preferences and which restaurant to go to. \u201cEach time you voice your preference, and especially if it differs from others, it supports your ego state and ability to remember that you are worthy of being cared for and regarded.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Challenge unhelpful thoughts<\/h3>\n<p>Inevitably, some negative thinking may arise\u2014but it doesn\u2019t have to stick. \u201cWork to notice and challenge self-blame and negative self-talk,\u201d McSparran says. Asking a friend for a reality check, writing a letter to yourself, and taking deep breaths are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-stop-negative-thinking\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-stop-negative-thinking\/\">skills that can help you avoid that shame spiral<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Being kind to yourself is crucial here. \u201cBecause these narratives have likely been reinforced for years, this can take some time and patience, but each effort is important in the healing process,\u201d Dr. Kelley adds.<\/p>\n<h3>Encourage helpful thinking<\/h3>\n<p>Besides pointing out the inaccuracies in unhelpful thoughts, try to foster more positive ones, too. McSparran encourages you to \u201cdevelop a more accurate self-image and build self-esteem.\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/healthy-lifestyle\/adult-health\/in-depth\/self-esteem\/art-20045374\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/healthy-lifestyle\/adult-health\/in-depth\/self-esteem\/art-20045374\">According to the Mayo Clinic<\/a>, this can look like calling out inaccurate thought patterns, forgiving yourself, engaging in activities that you enjoy, and spending time with people who love you.<\/p>\n<h3>Work with a therapist<\/h3>\n<p>These tips are easier said than done, of course, which is why professional help is often the way to go. \u201cBecause it is extremely difficult to see our own patterns clearly, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-start-virtual-therapy\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/how-to-start-virtual-therapy\/\">working with a professional therapist<\/a> can be deeply helpful in working through echoist tendencies,\u201d McSparran says.<\/p>\n<p>Genatt suggests therapists who specialize in assertiveness, self-esteem, and personal growth specifically.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRemember that addressing echoist tendencies is a personal journey,\u201d Genatt adds, \u201cand it\u2019s essential to be kind and patient with yourself as you work toward a healthier balance in your relationships and self-expression.\u201d<\/p>\n<div class=\"disclaimers__after_content mb-[18px] mt-[16px] pt-[16px]\">\n<div class=\"outline-earmark relative mt-[8px] pt-[10px] pl-[20px]\">\n<p>\n            Our editors independently select these products. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission.          <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When your partner asks you what you want for dinner, you tell them that you&#8217;ll eat anything. Perhaps you\u2019re the agreeable one in the friend group who\u2019s always down to do whatever others want. Maybe you\u2019d rather hop into a freezing lake than disagree with a coworker. 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