{"id":8151,"date":"2023-10-14T20:14:47","date_gmt":"2023-10-14T13:14:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=8151"},"modified":"2023-10-14T20:14:47","modified_gmt":"2023-10-14T13:14:47","slug":"love-bombing-in-friendship-is-painful-and-difficult","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=8151","title":{"rendered":"Love Bombing in Friendship Is Painful and Difficult"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"drop-cap text-big text-gray\"> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">L<\/span>ove bombing\u2014a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/love-bomb\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/love-bomb\/\">form of emotional manipulation<\/a> via over-the-top gestures, gifts, and expectations\u2014is typically experienced in romantic relationships. Think: Christian Grey in <em>50 Shades<\/em> showering Anastasia with expensive gifts at the beginning of their courtship, or Kanye West whisking Julia Fox off to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.interviewmagazine.com\/culture\/date-night\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.interviewmagazine.com\/culture\/date-night\">New York City the very night they met<\/a> for a lavish date night. But as I have learned first-hand, it is possible to experience love bombing in friendship, too.<\/div>\n<p>One friend said, \u201cLove you\u201d casually within the first month of us meeting, sent me constant BFF reels on Instagram, talked about how we\u2019d get old together drinking tea on our porch. It was quite a shock to my system when that friendship came crashing down by the second month, when I actually had a problem and needed her to be there for me. I realized my reaction to getting \u201cfriend bombed\u201d was similar to being love bombed in a romantic relationship\u2014utter disbelief, pain, anger.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFriend bombing\u201d is essentially love bombing, but in a platonic context. It\u2019s just as important to be wary of these kinds of grandiose offerings in friendships as it is in romantic relationships, says psychotherapist <a href=\"https:\/\/jackworthylmhc.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/jackworthylmhc.com\/\">Jack Worthy, LMHC<\/a>, who specializes in frustrating relationship patterns. \u201cWe\u2019ve just met, and you\u2019re offering to treat me to Taylor Swift tickets. We\u2019ve just met, and you\u2019re planning a trip for the two of us,\u201d he says as an example. \u201cIt\u2019s a level of generosity that feels uncomfortable and inappropriate. The invitations themselves are often exciting, but create an imbalance.\u201d<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/love-bombing-in-friendship\/\" current-title=\"Surprise: You Can Get \u2018Love Bombed\u2019 in Your Friendships, Too\" current-image=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/GettyImages-love-bombing-in-friendship-Rockaa_418x278_true_70.webp\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-04-14\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/love-bombing-in-friendship\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/love-bombing-in-friendship\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/love-bombing-in-friendship\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Friend bombing can also look like excessive praise or constant need for communication. <a href=\"https:\/\/drdanielleforshee.com\/about\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/drdanielleforshee.com\/about\/\">Danielle Forshee, PsyD<\/a>, says friend bombers often want to know everything that goes on in your life, and share every detail about theirs\u2014without accepting any boundaries. \u201cA sign to look out for is having a high frequency of communication throughout a 24-hour period along with an expectation of a quick response time, and if it doesn\u2019t go that way, conflict may arise,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;To move from a flood of positive emotion to an experience of rejection or conflict feels terribly destabilizing. It can leave you wondering, \u2018Did I do something? What did I do wrong?'&#8221; \u2014Jack Worthy, LHMC<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Friend bombers may also have unrealistic expectations about their role in your life, adds Dr. Forshee. \u201cA strong desire to be involved in all things you and part of your life are likely to be present in the friend bomber, whether this comes through at their specific request, subtle hints, or expressing hurt that you didn&#8217;t assume this would be the case,\u201d she says. A former flatmate of mine definitely fit that bill\u2014he used to talk about someday walking me down the aisle, and invited himself as my plus-one to an awards event. But when I decided to maintain some distance, he asked me to move out within a matter of weeks.<\/p>\n<h2>Why does love bombing in friendship happen?<\/h2>\n<p>The motives of love bombing are quite clear: gaining control over a partner. But that\u2019s not always the goal (at least, not consciously, at least), with friend bombing, says Worthy. \u201cThe friend bomber wants connection, and that\u2019s [likely] eluded them for most of their life. They\u2019re excited to meet you and hoping you\u2019ll be the friend they\u2019ve never had. So the bombing is a seduction\u2014not deceitful or manipulative, but an earnest attempt to build a friendship using the only tools they understand,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>Individuals who jump head-first into new friendships and relationships are usually motivated by a strong desire to feel needed, attached, or accepted, agrees Dr. Forshee. \u201cUsually, these relationships start on a high because of this, and [the friend bomber&#8217;s] hopes and expectations are high to get the need met,\u201d she says. However, she says these relationships tend to end quickly because they are lacking in healthy boundaries\u2014and not grounded in realistic expectations. \u201cIt\u2019s only natural that when expectations are not met by others, we become upset,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, even though the intention of friend bombing isn\u2019t always manipulative, it can certainly end up feeling that way if you\u2019re on the receiving end, says Dr. Forshee. \u201cLet\u2019s say the recipient has a history of not feeling emotionally safe and secure in relationships,\u201d she says as an example. Being love bombed, then ghosted, by a new friend would add \u201csalt to the wound\u201d of those old insecurities, she says, which is harmful and frustrating.<\/p>\n<p>Getting friend-bombed can also be incredibly confusing for the recipient, adds Worthy. \u201cTo move from a flood of positive emotion to an experience of rejection or conflict feels terribly destabilizing,\u201d he says. \u201cIt can leave you wondering, \u2018Did I do something? What did I do wrong?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>What to do if you find yourself the victim of love bombing in a friendship<\/h2>\n<p>Regardless of the intentions of the love bomber, you should not feel obligated to put up with this behavior. How to address it depends on a few factors, including how early it is in the friendship or whether you think they\u2019d be willing to accept boundaries. \u201cIf you notice the friend bombing early on, I\u2019d not blame you for dismissing yourself from the friendship [and] becoming unavailable,\u201d says Worthy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you genuinely like the person, you could try setting boundaries and expectations,\u201d Worthy says. For example, if a new friend randomly presents you with very expensive concert tickets and it makes you uncomfortable, you could respond by saying something like, \u201cWow, what a generous gift. I could never say \u2018yes\u2019 to something like this. But I would love to meet for coffee again next week.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Remember, \u201cif you choose to say yes to the trip or the concert or the box seats, just be aware that conflict and awkwardness are on the horizon,\u201d Worthy says. You will eventually have a need or a boundary that upsets the bomber.<\/p>\n<p>Know what your personal boundaries are to begin with, and be sure to establish them as soon you notice a pattern of friend bombing. For example, if the person immediately begins texting you all day over the course of days, make a conscious effort to delay your responses, says Dr. Forshee. \u201cAt the end of the day, let them know that while you love talking to them and want to hear all the things they are telling you, you don\u2019t like to be on your phone all day texting and will respond to them when you can.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Remember, excuses are not the same as boundaries\u2014and even though they might temporarily spare a person\u2019s feelings, they don\u2019t address the underlying issue. Going back to that texting example above, be direct rather than saying that you\u2019re busy at work or some other reason for not responding. Otherwise, they will become aware of the days you have off and then you will have to figure out another excuse to reduce communications. Be firm and confident in your boundaries and be sure to remain consistent with them. \u201cAfter all, this is your life, not theirs,\u201d says Dr. Forshee.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Love bombing\u2014a form of emotional manipulation via over-the-top gestures, gifts, and expectations\u2014is typically experienced in romantic relationships. Think: Christian Grey in 50 Shades showering Anastasia with expensive gifts at the beginning of their courtship, or Kanye West whisking Julia Fox off to New York City the very night they met for a lavish date night. &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8152,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8151"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8151\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8152"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}