{"id":7478,"date":"2023-09-17T18:44:13","date_gmt":"2023-09-17T11:44:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=7478"},"modified":"2023-09-17T18:44:13","modified_gmt":"2023-09-17T11:44:13","slug":"why-people-pleasing-can-stem-from-survival-mode-from-a-therapist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=7478","title":{"rendered":"Why People-Pleasing Can Stem From Survival Mode, From A Therapist"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/mindbodygreen-res.cloudinary.com\/image\/upload\/c_fill,w_700,h_400,g_auto,q_85,fl_lossy,f_jpg\/org\/r4e1doj5gkp4fjoxx.png\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Have you ever been mad or hurt by someone, and when you bring it up, they blame it entirely on you?\u00a0Or they saw the situation in a\u00a0<em>completely<\/em>\u00a0different light?\u00a0It\u2019s confusing, right!?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Now imagine how confusing that is for a child. When we bring childhood development into the equation, having their \u201creality\u201d invalidated can feel really overwhelming and scary.\u00a0Here\u2019s what I mean:\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s say a 5-year old has a tantrum because they lost their favorite stuffed animal. Although it may not seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it certainly is a big deal for the child crying bloody murder because their favorite object has suddenly disappeared from existence.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If the caregiver\u2019s response is nurturing and understanding, and validates to the child that their emotions are appropriate, it makes the child feel safer because their emotions are accepted. That their emotions match reality and the situation.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If the caregiver\u2019s response is, \u201cOMG, it\u2019s not a big deal, it was just a dumb toy,\u201d or \u201cStop crying! You\u2019re being way too sensitive,\u201d it can be really overwhelming.\u00a0This makes the child think their reality and their emotions do not meet the reality and emotions of the world around them.\u00a0The ultimate takeaway is the child thinking that their emotions are \u201cwrong.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>As an adult, you may not feel safe or secure when you\u2019re being invalidated. And your \u201cfawn\u201d response may be activated out of fear of someone\u2019s reaction.\u00a0It could look like second guessing yourself, and going over scenarios over and over in your head to try to justify your emotions\u2014or to justify\u00a0<em>the other person\u2019s<\/em>\u00a0emotions.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Fawning can make you feel guilty if you second guess someone else\u2019s opinions, emotions, or behaviors. For example, feeling guilty that you spoke up to your boss about a project and then taking 45 minutes to send an apology email with way too many smiley faces.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever been mad or hurt by someone, and when you bring it up, they blame it entirely on you?\u00a0Or they saw the situation in a\u00a0completely\u00a0different light?\u00a0It\u2019s confusing, right!?\u00a0 Now imagine how confusing that is for a child. When we bring childhood development into the equation, having their \u201creality\u201d invalidated can feel really overwhelming &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[60,58],"class_list":["post-7478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-anxiety","tag-stress"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7478"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7478\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}