{"id":7305,"date":"2023-09-10T07:10:29","date_gmt":"2023-09-10T00:10:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=7305"},"modified":"2023-09-10T07:10:29","modified_gmt":"2023-09-10T00:10:29","slug":"is-your-emotional-energy-type-waxed-paper-or-velcro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=7305","title":{"rendered":"Is Your Emotional Energy Type Waxed Paper or Velcro?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"drop-cap text-big text-gray\"> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">A<\/span>s you move through the world, you\u2019re bound to encounter others and be exposed to their emotions, whether by way of a passing comment or full-scale <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotional-dumping\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotional-dumping\/\">emotional dumping<\/a>. If you&#8217;re <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/why-am-i-so-sensitive\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/why-am-i-so-sensitive\/\">particularly sensitive<\/a>, you may be more prone to take on the emotions of others so deeply that they affect your own, leading to feelings of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-highly-sensitive-person\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-highly-sensitive-person\/\">depletion and exhaustion<\/a>. Learning to recognize which feelings are yours to hold takes work, but striving for a particular emotional energy type can make it easier to interact with others as a sensitive person.<\/div>\n<p>Embodying an energy type that is more like Velcro vs. waxed, emotionally speaking, can help those who struggle with getting swept up in others\u2019 emotions to focus on tending to their own garden of feelings first, according to clinical psychologist <a href=\"https:\/\/drcarlamanly.com\/about\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/drcarlamanly.com\/about\/\">Carla Marie Manly, PhD<\/a>, author of <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FJoy-Fear-Carla-Marie-Manly%2Fdp%2F1641701218%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx11612-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Ffuture-faking%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Ffuture-faking%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FJoy-Fear-Carla-Marie-Manly%2Fdp%2F1641701218%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx11612-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Ffuture-faking%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Ffuture-faking%2F&amp;event_type=click\"><em>Joy from Fear<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<hr\/>\n<p>\u201cA person who is Velcro takes on everybody\u2019s stuff, including their own, but a person who is waxed paper has done enough work to know this is yours, and this is mine,\u201d says Dr. Manly. By being more like waxed paper than Velcro, you&#8217;re able to set better boundaries for yourself, and therefore, be more attentive to your own emotional needs by not expending energy on others when it&#8217;s not warranted. Below, Dr. Manly breaks down what it means to be one or the other in more detail.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@dr_carla_manly\/video\/7262587120164834603\" data-video-id=\"7262587120164834603\" data-embed-from=\"oembed\" style=\"max-width:605px; min-width:325px;\">\n<section> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"@dr_carla_manly\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@dr_carla_manly?refer=embed\">@dr_carla_manly<\/a> <\/p>\n<p>Do you take on other people\u2019s emotions easily?If you answered \u2018yes\u2019 then one of the best things you can do for yourself is to be more like Waxed Paper. Say what?Listen to find out more \ud83d\udd08 <a title=\"fyp\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/fyp?refer=embed\">#fyp<\/a> <a title=\"therapytiktok\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/therapytiktok?refer=embed\">#therapytiktok<\/a> <a title=\"therapysessions\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/therapysessions?refer=embed\">#therapysessions<\/a> <a title=\"therapytok\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/therapytok?refer=embed\">#therapytok<\/a> <a title=\"emotionalwellness\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/emotionalwellness?refer=embed\">#emotionalwellness<\/a> <a title=\"listenup\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/listenup?refer=embed\">#listenup<\/a> <a title=\"mindfullness\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/mindfullness?refer=embed\">#mindfullness<\/a> <a title=\"mindfulnesspractice\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/mindfulnesspractice?refer=embed\">#mindfulnesspractice<\/a> <a title=\"wellnesstips\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/wellnesstips?refer=embed\">#wellnesstips<\/a> <a title=\"wellnessjourney\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/wellnessjourney?refer=embed\">#wellnessjourney<\/a> <a title=\"wellnesshub\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/wellnesshub?refer=embed\">#wellnesshub<\/a><\/p>\n<p> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"\u266c original sound - Dr. Carla Marie Manly\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/original-sound-7262587157910096686?refer=embed\">\u266c original sound &#8211; Dr. Carla Marie Manly<\/a> <\/section>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<h2>The two emotional energy types for sensitive people<\/h2>\n<h3>Velcro emotional energy type<\/h3>\n<p>Just like actual Velcro, which is a hook and loop fastening system where things can get, well, stuck, someone who is the Velcro emotional energy type is a person who cannot help holding onto emotions.<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotional-energy-type\/\" current-title=\"When It Comes to Emotional Energy, Are You \u2018Waxed Paper\u2019 or \u2018Velcro\u2019? Here\u2019s How to Find Out\" current-image=\"GettyImagesVelcroWaxPaper-425x285.jpg\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-03-09\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotional-energy-type\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotional-energy-type\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotional-energy-type\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>\u201cThe idea of the Velcro is a sensitive or highly sensitive person who tends to let things stick to them and rub them raw, and they don\u2019t know how to release that energy,\u201d says Dr. Manly. As a result, they collect \u201cemotional burs,\u201d or negative energy (comments, interactions, or emotions) from others, which they carry with them.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve ever removed a bur from a dog, you may know that these prickly barbs can penetrate the skin and cause prolonged pain if they\u2019re not promptly dealt with\u2014the same idea applies here. Velcro types allow things to stick with them, and risk these becoming lasting issues and insecurities.<\/p>\n<h3>Waxed paper emotional energy type<\/h3>\n<p>Waxed paper, on the other hand, is a smooth substance that other things glide off. So, people with a waxed paper emotional energy type are able to keep others\u2019 emotions and feelings from derailing them. \u201cThe person who is waxed paper has worked hard to know [themselves], so they recognize they\u2019re not going to take on someone else&#8217;s stuff,\u201d explains Dr. Manly.<\/p>\n<p>To be clear, being like waxed paper <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em> mean ignoring or rejecting your own or someone else\u2019s emotions. It simply means that you\u2019ve done the internal work to recognize that you don\u2019t have to take on someone else&#8217;s emotions or add their problems or stressors or whatever else they put on you to your plate.<\/p>\n<p>Think about a situation where someone has made some unwanted comment that wasn&#8217;t warranted. Maybe they mentioned that you look particularly tired. You may start feeling insecurities about whether you have bags under your eyes, or if you are coming off as slow or sluggish. A Velcro person would take these comments to heart and allow them to potentially ruin their day; meanwhile, a waxed paper person would think something like &#8216;I&#8217;m not sure why they said that, but I am happy with how I look and feel and it&#8217;s not really their business whether I&#8217;m tired or not, so I won&#8217;t let it get to me.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>In essence, the Velcro emotional energy type is reactive because it\u2019s about responding to the actions and feelings of others, which can make it difficult to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotion-regulation\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/emotion-regulation\/\">regulate your own emotions<\/a>. The waxed paper emotional energy type, however, is much more fluid and self-assured. Because these people are confident in their own capacity to handle what comes their way, they&#8217;re less likely to be tossed off track when something inevitably tests them.<\/p>\n<p>This isn&#8217;t to say you should never listen when someone says something to you that causes you discomfort for fear of collecting an emotional bur; some of the stickiness of Velcro can in fact be good. The key here, though, is to get to a place where most things aren&#8217;t sticking, so you can marshal your emotional resources toward what&#8217;s deserving of your attention.<\/p>\n<h2>How to collect fewer emotional burs, and how to remove them<\/h2>\n<p>Let\u2019s say your emotional energy type is Velcro. How can you avoid collecting more emotional burs and release any you\u2019ve already accumulated? According to Dr. Manly, the best way for people with a Velcro emotional energy type to protect themselves is to identify situations where they\u2019re adding others&#8217; emotions to their plate, and assessing whether they belong there in the moment.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t shame and don\u2019t blame yourself, but instead become more aware of when insensitive people, or those who aren\u2019t conscious of what they\u2019re doing, trigger you and you take on their energy,\u201d says Dr. Manly. \u201cFigure out if this is something they\u2019re doing, or if it\u2019s something within you that needs attention and is unresolved.\u201d This way, you\u2019re taking a moment to be mindful about whether this thing is worth spending your emotional energy on.<\/p>\n<p>For example, maybe you\u2019re at a party and someone makes a comment about how they\u2019ve noticed you\u2019re working far less lately. If this comment rubs you the wrong way, get curious about why before you respond. Are there indicators that this person is being passive aggressive and attempting to insult you? Are you self-conscious about not being perceived as \u201clazy\u201d? These could be scenarios that could create an emotional bur. But they don\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n<p>If you need a vibe check to make sure you\u2019re not taking on any undue negativity, Dr. Manly says you could even say something like, \u201cI\u2019m curious, what did you mean by that comment?\u201d to figure out exactly how to interpret it.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s about noticing when to self-reflect to find out if it&#8217;s something you need to work on, if it&#8217;s about the other person, or if it&#8217;s a combination of both.&#8221;\u2014Carla Marie Manly, PhD, clinical psychologist<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Self assurance is another muscle to build to make the work of decreasing your load of emotional burs feel easier over time: Say you are a recovering workaholic who\u2019s been working harder to set healthier boundaries around your work time. Perhaps the friend was just admiring your progress, but you realized on self-reflection that you\u2019re still sensitive to being perceived as unproductive or \u201clazy\u201d if you\u2019re not working as much as you used to. That pause can help you not take the comment personally, or worse, react in a defensive way.<\/p>\n<p>Conversely, maybe the person who made the comment is the workaholic and they were being passive aggressive with you, in which case, taking a moment to pause still allows you to see the situation for what it is and not letting it stick to you.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Manly emphasizes that you\u2019re not ignoring your feelings, but rather recognizing what\u2019s behind them and moving past them. Keeping a journal about the experiences where you\u2019ve picked up emotional burs is another healing tool that could be helpful here, too. \u201cIt&#8217;s about noticing when [emotional burs] get stuck to you, noticing when to self-reflect to find out if it&#8217;s something you need to work on, if it&#8217;s about the other person, or if it&#8217;s a combination of both,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>If you find you\u2019re prone to carrying around others\u2019 emotions that leave you drained or sad, you can also work with a licensed professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, for help setting some emotional boundaries and processing your feelings.<\/p>\n<p>Know that you&#8217;re not doomed to be in the Velcro state forever. \u201cIf you get used to being mindful of [emotional burs], then you eventually can transform into wax paper, which is that most of the time other people&#8217;s crap just doesn&#8217;t stick to you,\u201d says Dr. Manly.<\/p>\n<div class=\"disclaimers__after_content mb-[18px] mt-[16px] pt-[16px]\">\n<div class=\"outline-earmark relative mt-[8px] pt-[10px] pl-[20px]\">\n<p>\n            Our editors independently select these products. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission.          <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As you move through the world, you\u2019re bound to encounter others and be exposed to their emotions, whether by way of a passing comment or full-scale emotional dumping. If you&#8217;re particularly sensitive, you may be more prone to take on the emotions of others so deeply that they affect your own, leading to feelings of &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7307,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7305","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7305"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7305\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7305"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7305"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7305"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}