{"id":7208,"date":"2023-09-06T08:14:04","date_gmt":"2023-09-06T01:14:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=7208"},"modified":"2023-09-06T08:14:04","modified_gmt":"2023-09-06T01:14:04","slug":"vanilla-shaming-in-sex-how-to-deal-with-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=7208","title":{"rendered":"&#8216;Vanilla Shaming&#8217; in Sex: How To Deal With It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"drop-cap text-big text-gray\"> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">C<\/span>ultural narratives around sex and sexual preferences have long been weaponized to make <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/sexual-shame-signs\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/sexual-shame-signs\/\">people feel embarrassed or ashamed of what they like<\/a>. Indeed, the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/history-of-women-and-pleasure\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/history-of-women-and-pleasure\/\">history of sex-negativity in this country<\/a> is so rich\u2014propped up by egregiously <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/youth-sexpert-program\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/youth-sexpert-program\/\">lacking sex education<\/a>\u2014that even the increasing <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.gitnux.com\/kink-statistics\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/blog.gitnux.com\/kink-statistics\/\">normalization of kink<\/a> in recent years (which is, in itself, a great thing) seems to have a cost. As it becomes more socially acceptable to enjoy fetishes, fantasies, and classically \u201cdeviant\u201d sex acts <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/bdsm-test\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/bdsm-test\/\">associated with BDSM<\/a> (like choking, bondage, and other forms of power play), it\u2019s <em>vanilla<\/em> sex that is now being subjected to societal shaming.<\/div>\n<p>Where kink has become the \u201cnew normal\u201d within the popular discourse, vanilla sex has become the new target for derision, with the unfortunate trend of \u201cvanilla shaming\u201d leaving those who enjoy non-kinky sex unnecessarily ostracized. \u201cVanilla shaming is when there is judgment toward people who have more traditional sex lives,\u201d says certified sexologist <a href=\"https:\/\/cew.org\/people\/megwyn-white\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/cew.org\/people\/megwyn-white\/\">Megwyn White<\/a>, director of education at sex toy retailer <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.awin1.com%2Fcread.php%3Fawinmid%3D15425%26awinaffid%3D1097075%26campaign%3D%26clickref%3DSTMSLS-477753%26ued%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fus.satisfyer.com%252Fus%252F%26platform%3Dpl&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Fvanilla-shaming%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/us.satisfyer.com\/us\/\">Satisfyer<\/a>. \u201cSome people believe conventional sex is boring, [which they consider a synonym for] vanilla, and this judgment can manifest in various ways, such as mockery [and] exclusion.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Spend any time on the sex side of social media, and you\u2019ll see the kind of eye-rolling White is talking about. A <a href=\"https:\/\/i-d.vice.com\/en\/article\/88aey4\/tiktok-vanilla-shaming-rough-sex-kinkshaming\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/i-d.vice.com\/en\/article\/88aey4\/tiktok-vanilla-shaming-rough-sex-kinkshaming\">corner of TikTok called FreakTok<\/a> is now rife with videos of people <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@ha.logan\/video\/6914679787944414469?is_copy_url=1&amp;is_from_webapp=v2&amp;lang=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@ha.logan\/video\/6914679787944414469?is_copy_url=1&amp;is_from_webapp=v2&amp;lang=en\">denouncing vanilla sex<\/a> and mocking people, often women, for <em>not <\/em>being into <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@princess_jesssie\/video\/6964966100765379846?lang=en&amp;q=choking&amp;t=1693938396012\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@princess_jesssie\/video\/6964966100765379846?lang=en&amp;q=choking&amp;t=1693938396012\">choking<\/a>, cutting, slapping, and other rougher kinds of kink, in particular. Even influencer <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/emmachamberlain\/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/emmachamberlain\/?hl=en\">Emma Chamberlain<\/a> has <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/episode\/6Igp6WPiuE3gabHfG5hIaW\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/episode\/6Igp6WPiuE3gabHfG5hIaW\">stated that she feels \u201cembarrassed\u201d<\/a> about her more conventional sexual preferences.<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<div class=\"experts-in-article noskim py-[24px] px-[40px]\">\n<p>Experts In This Article<\/p>\n<ul class=\"!ml-[18px]\">\n<li> <a href=\"https:\/\/goodemdrtherapy.com\/about-jessica\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/goodemdrtherapy.com\/about-jessica\">Jessica Good, LPC<\/a>, therapist, EMDR practitioner, and owner of <a href=\"https:\/\/goodemdrtherapy.com\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/goodemdrtherapy.com\/\">Good EMDR Therapy<\/a> <\/li>\n<li> <a href=\"https:\/\/julesmpurnell.com\/\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/julesmpurnell.com\/\">Jules Purnell<\/a>, queer, non-binary, transmasculine AASECT-certified sexuality educator, speaker, and writer <\/li>\n<li> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/megwyn-white-70a89821\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/megwyn-white-70a89821\">Megwyn White<\/a>, certified sexologist and director of education at Satisfyer <\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<hr\/>\n<p>As <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@oatmilk623\/video\/6912097838646283525?embed_source=121355058%2C121351166%2C121331973%2C120811592%2C120810756%3Bnull%3Bembed_pause_share&amp;refer=embed&amp;referer_url=www.yourtango.com%2F2021340199%2Fwhy-tiktok-vanilla-shaming-trend-perpetuates-dangerous-non-consensual-relationships&amp;referer_video_id=6912097838646283525\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@oatmilk623\/video\/6912097838646283525?embed_source=121355058%2C121351166%2C121331973%2C120811592%2C120810756%3Bnull%3Bembed_pause_share&amp;refer=embed&amp;referer_url=www.yourtango.com%2F2021340199%2Fwhy-tiktok-vanilla-shaming-trend-perpetuates-dangerous-non-consensual-relationships&amp;referer_video_id=6912097838646283525\">vanilla sex gets the \u201cundesirable\u201d label<\/a>, people may feel undue pressure to abandon their preferences and embrace kink, whether to appear less prudish or appease a partner (both of which are problematic).<\/p>\n<h2>What does vanilla shaming look like in practice?<\/h2>\n<p>Vanilla shaming isn\u2019t so much a new phenomenon as it is a new brand of the same judgment long applied to sexual preferences, particularly of folks who identify as women. In our misogynistic society, a woman who seems to have \u201ctoo much\u201d sex\u2014or, by proxy, enjoys sex or kink too much\u2014has long been labeled a slut, whereas a woman who doesn\u2019t have \u201cenough\u201d sex (or doesn\u2019t get adventurous enough in bed) has long been called a prude.<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/vanilla-shaming\/\" current-title=\"How To Deal With \u2018Vanilla Shaming\u2019\u2014Because No One Should Be Made To Feel Bad About Enjoying Non-Kinky Sex\" current-image=\"WG_Editorial_Vanilla-Shaming_feature-425x285.jpg\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-03-05\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/vanilla-shaming\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/vanilla-shaming\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/vanilla-shaming\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Vanilla shaming, then, falls on the latter end of that spectrum and is akin to prude shaming, says AASECT-certified sexuality educator <a href=\"https:\/\/julesmpurnell.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/julesmpurnell.com\/\">Jules Purnell, MEd<\/a>. \u201cIf someone doesn&#8217;t engage in kink or BDSM play, they&#8217;re considered boring or uncool and aren\u2019t exciting enough in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cIf someone doesn&#8217;t engage in kink or BDSM play, they&#8217;re considered boring or uncool [by those engaging in vanilla shaming].\u201d \u2014Jules Purnell, MEd, AASECT-certified sexuality educator<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Exactly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/sex-terms-glossary\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/sex-terms-glossary\/\">what is considered vanilla<\/a> in this frame is subjective; after all, one person\u2019s spicy is another person\u2019s \u201cnormal.\u201d But generally, vanilla shaming can be any form of putting down someone for liking anything that falls within the traditional realm of heteronormative p-in-v intercourse.<\/p>\n<p>The best way to identify vanilla shaming is to notice your emotional and physical reactions to other people\u2019s actions and comments in regard to sex. Have you ever felt embarrassed when a partner says you\u2019re not adventurous enough? Has your stomach ever dropped when your sexual desire, pleasure, or boundaries have been written off as boring? These feelings are all cues that you may be experiencing vanilla shaming.<\/p>\n<h2>What do people engage in vanilla shaming?<\/h2>\n<p>Shaming someone for any kind of sexual preference\u2014whether their tendency toward overtly vanilla or kinky sex, or anything in between\u2014is a tactic to make them feel less worthy of pleasure, respect, and care because of their desires. In this way, &#8220;sexual shaming can be used to erode a person\u2019s sense of agency,&#8221; says White, in order to control or abuse them. After all, an ashamed, powerless person &#8220;is much easier to manipulate,&#8221; says Purnell.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;Sexual shaming can be used to erode a person&#8217;s sense of agency.&#8221; \u2014Megwyn White, certified sexologist<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>For example, someone who is vanilla shamed by a partner (and made to feel as if their desires are unworthy) may be more easily coerced or pressured to try something that they don\u2019t want to do, or that feels uncomfortable, scary, or even dangerous to them. A common scenario? A person urges their girlfriend to try a threesome, and when she declines, he criticizes her for being too bland. That puts her in the lose-lose position of either internalizing the criticism or giving into something she doesn\u2019t want to do\u2014which certainly aren\u2019t fair circumstances under which to offer consent, anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Though this kind of vanilla shaming comes from the same sex-negative root as kink shaming\u2014with both emerging as ways to put down people with particular sex preferences\u2014the two extremes differ in key historical context.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s important to remember that people who engaged in kink and types of \u201ccross-dressing\u201d associated with LGBTQ+ gender identities <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/health\/archive\/2015\/01\/bdsm-versus-the-dsm\/384138\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/health\/archive\/2015\/01\/bdsm-versus-the-dsm\/384138\/\">were considered mentally ill<\/a> (as defined by diagnostic codes for BDSM, fetishism, and transvestic fetishism in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) until 2013. And even to this day, kinky people still <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/human-interest\/2014\/10\/the-jian-ghomeshi-case-echoes-many-kinksters-worst-fears-being-outed-and-fired.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/human-interest\/2014\/10\/the-jian-ghomeshi-case-echoes-many-kinksters-worst-fears-being-outed-and-fired.html\">run the risk of employment discrimination and job loss<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vice.com\/en\/article\/7bm4a4\/how-kinky-and-non-traditional-parents-are-punished-by-family-courts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.vice.com\/en\/article\/7bm4a4\/how-kinky-and-non-traditional-parents-are-punished-by-family-courts\">losing custody of their children<\/a>. The same level of governmental discrimination has <em>not<\/em> been applied as a means to shame people who enjoy vanilla sex, thus still assigning these folks a level of privilege by comparison.<\/p>\n<h2>What are the negative effects of vanilla shaming?<\/h2>\n<p>Feeling ashamed of your sexual preferences can keep you from being able to connect with and act on your desires, says Purnell. \u201cOnce we\u2019ve been shamed for long enough, we take on that shaming as a personal project and police our own desire, too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That means you could start denying your desires, identity, or sexual orientation in the face of shaming, says White. \u201cThis suppression of self can not only hinder personal growth and self-acceptance, but it can also have a negative impact on your sexual well-being,\u201d she adds. Indeed, disconnection from your sexual self \u201ccan contribute to sexual dysfunction, such as erectile dysfunction, difficulty experiencing orgasm, or lack of sexual desire,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>More broadly, feeling ashamed of your sexual desires could also cause you to neglect your sexual health, perhaps leading you to bypass the use of STI tests or birth control, or to refrain from seeking out information or education on sex, adds White.<\/p>\n<p>On an emotional level, vanilla shaming can also create barriers to intimacy. \u201cIntimacy is, at its core, about embracing vulnerability and creating trust between partners,\u201d says White. \u201cSexual shame erodes both the ability to be vulnerable with your partner and the trust necessary for a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>How to deal with vanilla shaming in a relationship and feel confident in your sexual self<\/h2>\n<h3>Have a conversation about sexual shaming<\/h3>\n<p>If a sexual partner in your life is engaging in vanilla shaming (or any kind of sexual shaming), ask them to have a conversation. Let them know you\u2019ve noticed their recent put-downs about your sexual preferences and share with them how these comments or actions are negatively affecting you and your ability to feel comfortable and intimate with them.<\/p>\n<p>If their response indicates that they\u2019re willing to be more mindful of their actions and to avoid vanilla shaming in the future, be clear about the kinds of behaviors and comments you\u2019d like them to change, and what would allow you to feel completely shame-free during sex.<\/p>\n<h3>Set boundaries around sex talk<\/h3>\n<p>Boundaries are personal guidelines for behavior and are communicated to let others know how you will act in certain situations. \u201cA boundary that may be important in this scenario would include not participating in conversations that engage in shaming the sexual experience, desires, or expression of others,\u201d says therapist <a href=\"https:\/\/goodemdrtherapy.com\/about-jessica\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/goodemdrtherapy.com\/about-jessica\">Jessica Good, LPC<\/a>, owner of <a href=\"https:\/\/goodemdrtherapy.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/goodemdrtherapy.com\/\">Good EMDR Therapy<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Abiding by this boundary would look like this: If you\u2019re hanging out with friends or family members, and someone starts to make comments putting down or shaming the sexual preferences of another person, you would say, \u201cI\u2019m not comfortable with the way you\u2019re talking about this person. If it keeps up, I\u2019ll need to leave,\u201d suggests Good. This way, you\u2019re more likely to keep your interactions with sexual shaming to a minimum.<\/p>\n<h3>Re-evaluate the relationship<\/h3>\n<p>If sexual shaming is a continued issue with a romantic or sexual partner, it may be time to reconsider the relationship altogether. \u201cIf you are able to share your feelings, and your partner responds in a positive way, showing that they\u2019re listening to your perspective and [are willing to] change their behavior, that is a positive sign for the relationship,\u201d says Good. \u201cHowever, if they seem disinterested in your experience or dismiss your feelings and concerns, it would be wise to exit that relationship.\u201d There\u2019s no amount of sexual shame that\u2019s worth enduring as a cost to remaining in a relationship.<\/p>\n<h3>Embrace personal sex-ploration<\/h3>\n<p>Sometimes, sexual shame can be so pervasive, you begin to apply it to yourself and perceive <em>your own<\/em> preferences or desires as the problematic thing that needs to change. Allow this to be a reminder that whatever preferences you may have\u2014so long as they don\u2019t harm anyone else\u2014are valid and acceptable. And learning to celebrate your desires is a part of resisting sexual shame and reclaiming your right to sexual pleasure in the process.<\/p>\n<p>A good place to start? Learning more about sex, pleasure, and anatomy. Consider <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-finding-pleasure\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-finding-pleasure\/\">reading up on pleasure<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shushlife.com\/courses\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.shushlife.com\/courses\/\">attending online sex-positivity workshops<\/a>, exploring your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/sex-personality-types\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/sex-personality-types\/\">sex personality type<\/a>, or embracing the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/benefits-of-masturbating\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/benefits-of-masturbating\/\">benefits of masturbation<\/a> as a way to reconnect with your sexual self.<\/p>\n<h3>Seek professional support<\/h3>\n<p>If vanilla shaming is getting in the way of your ability to engage in sexual or intimate activities, or you can\u2019t shake the belief that your vanilla preferences make you less-than or not \u201cgood\u201d enough for a partner (or prospective partner), Good suggests seeking support from a sex therapist or mental-health practitioner. A professional can help you disengage from harmful beliefs internalized from others or from societal narratives, and reconnect with your worth, as both a person and a sexual being.<\/p>\n<p>At the end of the day, it\u2019s essential to remember that there\u2019s nothing broken about enjoying vanilla sex; it\u2019s one flavor among many.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script async defer src=\"https:\/\/platform.instagram.com\/en_US\/embeds.js\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cultural narratives around sex and sexual preferences have long been weaponized to make people feel embarrassed or ashamed of what they like. Indeed, the history of sex-negativity in this country is so rich\u2014propped up by egregiously lacking sex education\u2014that even the increasing normalization of kink in recent years (which is, in itself, a great thing) &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7209,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7208"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7208\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7209"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}