{"id":6001,"date":"2023-07-26T23:15:43","date_gmt":"2023-07-26T16:15:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=6001"},"modified":"2023-07-26T23:15:43","modified_gmt":"2023-07-26T16:15:43","slug":"what-is-alphabet-dating-and-how-should-you-use-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=6001","title":{"rendered":"What Is Alphabet Dating and How Should You Use It?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">T<\/span>he term &#8220;Netflix and chill&#8221; is typically employed in the context of casual flings and hookups\u2014the 21st century version of inviting your date upstairs for &#8220;coffee&#8221; at the end of the evening. But for folks in long-term relationships, &#8220;Netflix and chill&#8221; often describes your regular date-night formula: grab the takeout menus, fluff the throw blankets, and queue up the latest movie.<\/p>\n<p>The point of date night itself, of course, is to carve out dedicated one-on-one time with your partner. But doing the same activity over and over again, whether it&#8217;s movie night at home or going to the same restaurant down the street, can quickly grow boring.<\/p>\n<p>Stuck in a rut with your date night routine? Then you might be interested in trying the alphabet dating model, which uses the letters of the alphabet to decide what date night brings. Similar to other tools like the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/bingo-card-relationship\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/bingo-card-relationship\/\">relationship bingo card<\/a>, alphabet dating provides a structure to actually make date night happen and imbue it with some variety when it does, which relationship experts say can go a long way toward keeping the fires of romance well-fed and roaring. Here&#8217;s how to start (and make it work for you and your partner).<\/p>\n<h2>How tools like alphabet dating work to boost connection<\/h2>\n<p>Alphabet (or ABC) dating is basically exactly what it sounds like: Starting from the beginning of the alphabet and advancing in order, daters plan outings that correspond to each letter.<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-alphabet-dating\/\" current-title=\"Out of Date Ideas? Use Alphabet Dating To Find Fun, Exciting Ways To Connect With Your Partner\" current-image=\"WG_Editorial_ABC-dates_feature-1-425x285.jpg\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-01-26\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-alphabet-dating\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-alphabet-dating\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/what-is-alphabet-dating\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>For example, an \u201ca\u201d date could mean a trip to the local aquarium, while a \u201cb\u201d date could be an outing to the beach; \u201cc\u201d could mean breaking out the art supplies and getting crafty, while &#8220;d&#8221; could entail movie night at a drive-in theater. Using the alphabet as a linear structure, ABC dating ensures you and your partner are always trying new activities together (and keeping up with regular date nights).<\/p>\n<p>Why does that matter? They say variety is the spice of life, and it\u2019s just the same in relationships.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/10.1111\/jomf.12255\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/10.1111\/jomf.12255\">Making time for one another<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0031719\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0031719\">taking part in new experiences together<\/a> are two key components of banishing boredom, which can sour your dynamic as it settles in. \u201cWe get into these ruts in our relationships where you initially do lots of fun and exciting things and then you settle into a routine,\u201d says therapist <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theawakenedjourney.com\/about\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.theawakenedjourney.com\/about\/\">Claudia de Llano, LMFT<\/a>. \u201cWhen we do that we begin to disconnect from each other, and that&#8217;s difficult because that\u2019s how bonds begin to rupture.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;Having the alphabet be the source of inspiration for different date ideas is quite easy and clever, and can add something more interesting to what could otherwise be monotonous.&#8221;\u2014Jess Carbino, PhD, former sociologist at Tinder and Bumble<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Repeating the same dates over and over again gets boring fast, and robs couples of chances to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-for-long-term-relationship-health\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-for-long-term-relationship-health\/\">create new memories and routines together<\/a> (which keeps a relationship <a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/12609069_Couples%27_shared_participation_in_novel_and_arousing_activities_and_experienced_relationship_quality\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/12609069_Couples%27_shared_participation_in_novel_and_arousing_activities_and_experienced_relationship_quality\">exciting and fulfilling<\/a>). Using all the letters of the alphabet ensures you&#8217;re mixing up your activities, which goes a long way toward staving off a date night rut. \u201cHaving the alphabet be the source of inspiration for different date ideas is quite easy and clever, and can add something more interesting to what could otherwise be monotonous,\u201d says relationship expert <a href=\"https:\/\/drjesscarbino.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/drjesscarbino.com\/\">Jess Carbino, PhD<\/a>, former sociologist at Tinder and Bumble. She recommends aiming for a weekly date night, whether you&#8217;re in a newer couple or a more established one. Remember, not every week has to be expensive, so keep it flexible to fit your budget.<\/p>\n<p>The alphabet dating model is fully customizable and the possibilities endless. Simply come up with a list of activities, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/discover\/alphabet-of-date-ideas?lang=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/discover\/alphabet-of-date-ideas?lang=en\">reference other lists for ideas<\/a>, and start making your way through. Keep things fresh by varying the activities by season. For example, try apple picking as your \u201ca\u201d date in autumn, or fly a kite in the springtime when you get to the letter &#8220;k.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Looking for more tips on alphabet dating? Here are some great ideas from the experts to make ABC dating easy as 1-2-3.<\/p>\n<h2>3 tips to use alphabet dating to break out of your date night rut<\/h2>\n<h3>1. Involve both partners in planning<\/h3>\n<p>To get the most of ABC dating, be sure both you and your partner are involved in planning dates. If this pursuit turns into one partner\u2019s fiefdom, meaning they\u2019re always actually planning the dates or choosing ones only they\u2019d enjoy, Dr. Carbino says the exercise can just create more conflict.<\/p>\n<p>Part of the benefit of using any fun tool to plan date night is the process of making the date happen together; if one person feels like this is just another chore or that they\u2019re not doing anything they want to do, they won\u2019t be invested. \u201cIf one person is doing it, it would somewhat defeat the purpose of it, and both partners should be involved in the process if it is being used as a fun and collaborative tool,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<h3>2. Don\u2019t keep picking the same kinds of dates<\/h3>\n<p>Another tip for ABC dating success? Really make an effort to vary the activities you do to keep the excitement up, says Dr. Carbino and de Llano. As you devise activities to go with each letter, make sure you have a variety of options both you and your partner would be intrigued by.<\/p>\n<p>For example, if you feel most at home doing something like going out to a bar or restaurant, try to come up with some dates that involve something a bit out of your comfort zone\u2014like a physical sport, class, or a DIY project at home. Remember that a key component of this is trying something new together, and that point is moot if you\u2019re only doing activities you routinely do.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Prioritize connecting on the date itself<\/h3>\n<p>Of course, even more important than exactly what you\u2019re doing is <em>how<\/em> you\u2019re doing it. If you and your partner go to a high tea for the letter \u201ch\u201d but spend the whole time with your noses in your phones, the date wasn\u2019t as useful for connection as it could have been, says de Llano. Don\u2019t worry about making your list full of elaborate, bucket-list experiences either\u2014keep the dates simple enough to actually do, but exciting enough to have a benefit.<\/p>\n<p>One way to encourage deeper connections is to follow a model de Llano came up with called emotional alphabet dating. The conceit is similar to alphabet dating, but focuses on emotional connections. For example, \u201ct\u201d could stand for \u201ctrusting day,\u201d which means to make time to build trust with your partner. You could do this separately or combine this with a trip to the tide pools or theme park. \u201cYou can combine [the two methods of abc dating] or do them separately, but this is going to elicit an even bigger response in terms of getting to know your partner and strengthening that bond,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The term &#8220;Netflix and chill&#8221; is typically employed in the context of casual flings and hookups\u2014the 21st century version of inviting your date upstairs for &#8220;coffee&#8221; at the end of the evening. But for folks in long-term relationships, &#8220;Netflix and chill&#8221; often describes your regular date-night formula: grab the takeout menus, fluff the throw blankets, &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6002,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6001","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6001","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6001"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6001\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6001"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6001"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6001"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}