{"id":5486,"date":"2023-07-10T21:18:44","date_gmt":"2023-07-10T14:18:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=5486"},"modified":"2023-07-10T21:18:44","modified_gmt":"2023-07-10T14:18:44","slug":"overcoming-life-fatigue-requires-the-pursuit-of-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=5486","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming Life Fatigue Requires the Pursuit of Joy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">I<\/span>\u2019ve been referring to myself as middle-aged for approximately 10 years now, but initially I was doing so for comedic effect. Now, it\u2019s not so funny. Although it&#8217;s impossible to accurately identify the midpoint of your life until it\u2019s over, I am rapidly approaching my 40s and am confronting the realities of what it truly means to be \u201cmiddle-aged.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At this stage in his life, my dad bought a sports car and had flings with his secretaries. These clich\u00e9d behaviors offered a brief reprieve from the tedium of life in the suburbs with a wife and four kids. He also bemoaned his stable job that provided a consistent, livable income for his family. His boredom was palpable.<\/p>\n<p>I, meanwhile, would kill to be so bored. Instead of indulging in luxurious purchases and trying to escape the pressures of parenthood, I\u2019m about to spend somewhere between $30,000 and $1 billion just to have one kid via IVF. Rather than enjoying the stability of a consistent paycheck, I\u2019ve been engaged in a nonstop fight-or-flight hustle as a freelancer. I have exactly no assets and a retirement account that might, if I&#8217;m lucky, see me through the last week of my life\u2014pending inflation.<\/p>\n<p>Sure, I have been able to eke by all these years, untethered by \u201cthe man,\u201d and it hasn\u2019t been all bad. But now, as I really need to settle into some semblance of security, my industry is in the throes of a full-scale collapse\u2014and I am still struggling just as hard to get by now as I was in my early 20s. I prioritized work and ambition for a long time, and yet it feels like I have absolutely nothing to show for it.<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/life-fatigue-solutions\/\" current-title=\"I\u2019m a Millennial Approaching Middle Age and \u2018Life Fatigue\u2019 Has Hit Me In the Face\u2014Here\u2019s How a Joy Strategist Suggests Reviving Myself\" current-image=\"GettyImages-life-fatigue-DougalWaters.jpeg\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2023-01-10\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/life-fatigue-solutions\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/life-fatigue-solutions\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/life-fatigue-solutions\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I want to reclaim my time for the things in life that matter to me. I want to engage in a stable career that pays enough to live comfortably in these crazy times, and that contributes to the greater good in some meaningful way. I want to live differently than I\u2019ve lived for the past 20 years. But when I try to problem-solve, or hustle, or\u2026 whatever my way through this crisis, all I feel is exhausted. I have nothing left to give, and yet I am sort of just starting out. Again.<\/p>\n<h2>The unbearable life fatigue of middle-aged millennials<\/h2>\n<p>While my personal story is unique, I\u2019m not alone in entering into a \u201cmid-life crisis\u201d that looks nothing like the clich\u00e9s of past generations.<\/p>\n<p>Unlike our parents, a greater number of millennials (those of us born between 1981 and 1996) are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/social-trends\/2020\/05\/27\/as-millennials-near-40-theyre-approaching-family-life-differently-than-previous-generations\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/social-trends\/2020\/05\/27\/as-millennials-near-40-theyre-approaching-family-life-differently-than-previous-generations\/\">entering this stage of life unmarried and as-of-yet childless<\/a>. As of 2016, we were also <a href=\"https:\/\/www.newamerica.org\/millennials\/reports\/emerging-millennial-wealth-gap\/the-emerging-millennial-wealth-gap-opening-note\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.newamerica.org\/millennials\/reports\/emerging-millennial-wealth-gap\/the-emerging-millennial-wealth-gap-opening-note\/\">earning 20 percent less<\/a> than boomers did at our age. Inflation, meanwhile, is soaring, as are home prices\u2014which have gone up by <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fgo.skimresources.com%3Fid%3D104860X1561639%26xs%3D1%26xcust%3DSTMSLS-1088609%26url%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.usatoday.com%252Fstory%252Fmoney%252F2023%252F02%252F07%252Fhome-prices-real-estate-market-housing%252F69874407007%252F&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Flife-fatigue-solutions%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.usatoday.com\/story\/money\/2023\/02\/07\/home-prices-real-estate-market-housing\/69874407007\/\">an eye-watering 50 percent since 2020<\/a>. We\u2019re also <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gallup.com\/workplace\/231587\/millennials-job-hopping-generation.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.gallup.com\/workplace\/231587\/millennials-job-hopping-generation.aspx\">the generation that\u2019s most likely to change jobs<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.buzzfeednews.com\/article\/annehelenpetersen\/millennial-burnout-cant-even-anne-helen-petersen\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.buzzfeednews.com\/article\/annehelenpetersen\/millennial-burnout-cant-even-anne-helen-petersen\">many of us are trapped in an exploitative gig economy<\/a>. All of which likely has something to do with that aforementioned delay in getting married and having kids; those who are coupling up and procreating <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2021\/05\/18\/older-millennials-delayed-families-but-the-pandemic-made-kids-more-uncertain.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2021\/05\/18\/older-millennials-delayed-families-but-the-pandemic-made-kids-more-uncertain.html\">are doing so later and having fewer children<\/a> than those in prior generations. Some <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/short-reads\/2021\/11\/19\/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/short-reads\/2021\/11\/19\/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children\/\">are opting out entirely<\/a> due to a combination of practical and existential concerns exacerbated by the pandemic and the impending <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/climate-anxiety-having-kids\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/climate-anxiety-having-kids\/\">doom of the climate crisis<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I am well behind on where I thought I\u2019d be at this point in my life: a married homeowner with two kids and an acclaimed, stable writing career. This punishing reality has dealt a major blow to my self-esteem and, as a result, my happiness levels\u2014and I can\u2019t imagine I\u2019m the only one of my generation who feels this way. Even if many of the circumstances that put us in this position are beyond our control, it doesn\u2019t feel good to be pushing 40 as a renter with no savings.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m sure many folks of my parents\u2019 age would roll their eyes at this essay, and find me entitled and lazy. The system worked for them, didn\u2019t it? But that same system is objectively not working for younger generations, which has made many of us want to dismantle it or, at the very least, escape it. But how, when we are so very tired of climbing uphill with no peak in sight?<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;A lot of people are no longer willing to sacrifice their joy and well-being, and they don\u2019t want to put it off until later in life because they see the possibility of attaining it now.&#8221; \u2014Erica Lasan, Joy Strategist<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ericalasan.com\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.ericalasan.com\/\">Erica Lasan<\/a>, a self-proclaimed \u201cJoy Strategist\u201d who has coached over 200 women, assures me I\u2019m not alone in my feelings. \u201cThere\u2019s been a huge shift, a cultural awakening, and millennials are seeking to redefine what success looks like,\u201d she says. \u201cA lot of people are no longer willing to sacrifice their joy and well-being, and they don\u2019t want to put it off until later in life because they see the possibility of attaining it now\u2014and it\u2019s not guaranteed it will happen in retirement, if they get a retirement.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Enter \u201clife fatigue,\u201d which Lasan describes as \u201creaching burnout in every area of life\u2014emotionally, socially, spiritually, physically.\u201d She says that for many people (myself included), they may feel like they\u2019re doing everything they\u2019re \u201csupposed\u201d to for success, yet \u201care feeling so drained that they can\u2019t even see the way out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Lasan credits a combination of factors for this life fatigue in my generation, from a newfound sense of our mortality brought about by the pandemic and compounded by the approach of middle age, to a financial reality that\u2019s stacked against us and may never allow us to relax\u2014unless we make relaxation our goal.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPeople, especially in the millennial generation, are starting to value their time,\u201d she says. \u201cTime is a resource. It\u2019s not one you can replenish, and you don\u2019t know how much of it you have. So people are trying to figure out how they can buy back their time.\u201d Deloitte\u2019s 2023 Gen Z and Millennial Survey found that<a href=\"https:\/\/www.deloitte.com\/global\/en\/issues\/work\/content\/genzmillennialsurvey.html\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.deloitte.com\/global\/en\/issues\/work\/content\/genzmillennialsurvey.html\"> while 62 percent of millennials say work is essential<\/a> to their identities, most strive for work-life balance\u2014and consider it a top consideration when looking for a new job. A 2022 Gallup survey also found that millennials are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gallup.com\/workplace\/404693\/generation-disconnected-data-gen-workplace.aspx#\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.gallup.com\/workplace\/404693\/generation-disconnected-data-gen-workplace.aspx#\">significantly more likely to look for remote work<\/a> compared to older generations. \u201cYoung people crave career growth. They also want flexibility and independence,\u201d the survey report reads.<\/p>\n<p>Lasan says she\u2019s also noticed a trend towards people prioritizing rest in a novel way, as evidenced by <a href=\"https:\/\/thenapministry.com\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/thenapministry.com\/\">The Nap Ministry<\/a> (created by Black activist Tricia Hersey and emphasizes the value of rest as \u201cresistance\u201d to our current racist, capitalist culture) and the growing #SoftLife trend (which has <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/softlife?lang=en\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/softlife?lang=en\">944M views on TikTok<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe idea of working hard to get what you want is something that, for a lot of us, has been passed down from past generations,\u201d Lasan says. \u201cYou used to work really hard and be rewarded with either more money or a job with better benefits\u2014you&#8217;d move up the corporate ladder so that you could have more financial security, which then leads to life security, and many in this generation find that that just hasn&#8217;t been the case. So, they\u2019re allowing themselves to reprioritize rest, and it\u2019s become almost like a counterculture.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Using joy to find purpose<\/h2>\n<p>Like many of my fellow millennials, I\u2019ve already started slowing down and embracing rest. Rather than push myself to be productive every waking hour of my day, I listen to what my body needs. If I don\u2019t feel like \u201cdoing\u201d\u2014and I don\u2019t absolutely have \u201cto do\u201d something\u2014I don\u2019t. If I don\u2019t feel like tackling my daily to-do list (outside of necessary paid work), I don\u2019t. And those daily to-do lists have gotten a lot shorter, too, which allows me to do less and <em>be <\/em>more. But work had once given me such a sense of purpose. If I\u2019m doing less in the way of work\u2026where would my purpose come from in life? How would I still find meaning?<\/p>\n<p>It was this question which really led me to seek out Lasan. Her answer was unsurprising, given her title: Pursue joy.<\/p>\n<p>From Lasan\u2019s perspective, joy is a tool you can use to inform how and what you show up for in life. \u201cThe thing that brings you joy is tied to your purpose, so if you&#8217;re able to get a clearer picture on what that is, you can use it to hone in on what you\u2019re supposed to be doing with your time, energy, and space,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, I just need to identify the activities that bring me joy and do more of them, which should organically lead to a greater sense of what I should be doing with my life overall.<\/p>\n<p>Part of the problem, I tell Lasan, is that I always found both joy and purpose in writing, and now I find neither. She responds that this is likely due to the fact that I\u2019ve been writing for money and not for joy. \u201cIt could be that in the years that you have been doing it for money, it hasn&#8217;t actually been serving the purpose or serving the passion,&#8221; she says.<\/p>\n<p>She suggests taking a step back and trying to remember why I loved writing so much, what it was about writing that brought me so much joy, and then considering how writing might be tied to my purpose\u2014then seeing if there&#8217;s a way back to that writing. \u201cWhen you begin to get clear on what your joy is, you can also begin to understand how you can leverage it to build the financial abundance that you want,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>No, I don\u2019t need to quit my job right now in pursuit of joy. But she suggests I find time to play around with the type of writing I would do even if no one was paying me. Sure, I may find that no form of writing brings me joy anymore. Or I may discover that the type of writing that brings me joy is different from the kind I do for money (writing for magazines), or even the kind I <em>thought<\/em> could be for joy (writing a book).<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>[Success is] not necessarily owning a house, or selling a startup for $100 million, or even writing a book. It\u2019s just living each day with the maximum amount of joy possible.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>One way of going about this, which I&#8217;ve toyed with and Lasan supports, is switching careers so that the work I do to earn money does not require writing, which would ideally allow me to be re-energized around writing solely for creative fulfillment, or joy. In that setup, I could then experiment with various formats, like start a screenplay, enter a short-story-writing contest, draft a children&#8217;s book, or even try my hand at poetry.<\/p>\n<p>Lasan also encourages me to play around with other activities I love without putting any pressure on them to generate income for me. She refers to this as \u201csnacking on joy bits.\u201d She was excited to hear that I\u2019d recently taken up sewing classes because I enjoy fashion and collect vintage clothing. The fact that I\u2019m enjoying the classes is a clue, she says, and if I keep following and accumulating such clues, eventually a bigger picture will emerge.<\/p>\n<p>Once I have that new vision\u2014or really, at any point along the journey toward that vision\u2014Lasan says it\u2019s important to take the last step of recommitting to joy, and one thing she advises doing is sharing the vision with other people. \u201cIt holds you accountable to the vision, and it edifies the vision because the more you hear yourself say it, the more you see it for yourself,\u201d she says. \u201cIt also helps you attract people that will support you in holding yourself accountable to that vision\u2014I call this a vibe tribe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>While I like the simplicity of Lasan\u2019s joy-centric advice, it might have gone over my skeptical head were it not for one last little piece of wisdom she imparts before we end the call. She notices that I\u2019ve described my fianc\u00e9 as being less ambitious than I am because he\u2019s designed his life to be low in stress and high in leisure time, and she corrects me. \u201cIt sounds like his ambition is joy,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd by that measure, he\u2019s found great success. Joy is success.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My mind is blown by this simple sentiment. She\u2019s spot-on about how my fianc\u00e9 defines success, and how I now realize I\u2019d actually like to define success, too. It\u2019s not necessarily owning a house, or selling a startup for $100m, or even writing a book. It\u2019s just living each day with the maximum amount of joy possible. With that as my new goal, I feel somewhat energized for the first time in a long time. As I look down at the second half of my life from the top of this mid-life peak, things are finally looking up.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve been referring to myself as middle-aged for approximately 10 years now, but initially I was doing so for comedic effect. Now, it\u2019s not so funny. Although it&#8217;s impossible to accurately identify the midpoint of your life until it\u2019s over, I am rapidly approaching my 40s and am confronting the realities of what it truly &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5487,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5486","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.8 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019ve been referring to myself as middle-aged for approximately 10 years now, but initially I was doing so for comedic effect. Now, it\u2019s not so funny. 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