{"id":4081,"date":"2023-05-24T00:13:08","date_gmt":"2023-05-23T17:13:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/6-tips-for-long-term-relationship-health-per-a-pro\/"},"modified":"2023-05-24T00:13:08","modified_gmt":"2023-05-23T17:13:08","slug":"6-tips-for-long-term-relationship-health-per-a-pro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=4081","title":{"rendered":"6 Tips for Long-Term Relationship Health, Per a Pro"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p> <span class=\"drop-cap__first text-dropcap \">T<\/span>ime flies when you\u2019re in love. The first few years of a new relationship are often full of fun dates, passionate encounters, and meaningful milestones. As the years go on, however, status quo can set in, putting you at risk of feeling like you\u2019re paired up with a roommate rather than a romantic partner.<\/p>\n<p>Long-term relationships are hard work.\u00a0But, sex psychologist, therapist, and University of Florida psychology professor <a href=\"https:\/\/www.drlauriemintz.com\/about-laurie-mintz\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.drlauriemintz.com\/about-laurie-mintz\">Laurie Mintz, PhD,<\/a> says she&#8217;s found a few common threads between the long-term couples who thrive counseling. Keep reading for Dr. Mintz&#8217;s top tips for long-term relationship health.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>6 therapist-approved tips for long-term relationship health<\/strong><\/h2>\n<h3>1. Work through issues as soon as they arise<\/h3>\n<p>Dissecting relationship problems with your S.O. can be scary, but according to Dr. Mintz, allowing issues to fester because ignoring them is easier than dealing with them only makes them grow: \u201cThe sooner you talk about it, the better,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Dissecting relationship problems can be scary, but according to sex and relationship therapist Laurie Mintz, PhD, allowing issues to fester only makes them grow.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>In fact, the shared ability to tackle problems before they become worse is one of the biggest hallmarks of a relationship that\u2019s built to last, according to Dr. Mintz, author of <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FBecoming-Cliterate-Orgasm-Equality-Matters%2Fdp%2F0062664557%2F%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx10130-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Ftips-for-long-term-relationship-health%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Ftips-for-long-term-relationship-health%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Becoming-Cliterate-Orgasm-Equality-Matters\/dp\/0062664557\/\"><em>Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters&#8211;And How to Get It<\/em><\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/clicks.trx-hub.com\/xid\/leafgroup_ca5e0_wellgood?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FTired-Womans-Guide-Passionate-Sex%2Fdp%2F1605501077%2F%3Ftag%3Dwgtrx10130-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.wellandgood.com%252Ftips-for-long-term-relationship-health%252F%26asc_source%3Ddirect%26asc_campaign%3Dno-campaign&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.wellandgood.com%2Ftips-for-long-term-relationship-health%2F&amp;event_type=click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Tired-Womans-Guide-Passionate-Sex\/dp\/1605501077\/\"><em>A Tired Woman&#8217;s Guide to Passionate Sex<\/em><\/a>. This ability is a sign of strong, effective communication between both parties and shows that both partners are comfortable enough to share their concerns with each other.<\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content \" style=\"\" data-module-init=\"related-content\" data-module-immediate=\"\" v-cloak=\"\">\n<div class=\"related-content__wrapper \" v-cloak=\"\" :class=\"{'is-loaded':isLoaded}\">\n<p> <span class=\"inline pr-6 text-seafoam-dark\">Related Stories<\/span> <\/p>\n<p> <related-content class=\"related-content__links\" parent-article-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-for-long-term-relationship-health\/\" current-title=\"\u2018I\u2019m a 61-Year-Old Sex and Relationship Therapist, and These Are the 6 Habits That Keep Relationships Alive the Longest\u2019\" current-image=\"mature-couple-cafe-drinking-coffee-425x285.jpg\" v-on:parsely-posts-loaded=\"onPostsLoaded\" start-date=\"2022-11-23\" tag=\"div\" inline-template=\"\" url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-for-long-term-relationship-health\/\" secret=\"w5ztterVB03LGZJLfXS0hf3EvQBuFFIWew9hmVQxthU\" apikey=\"wellandgood.com\" limit=\"3\"> <\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"related-content__card mb-[10px] sm:mb-[20px]\" :class=\"{'related-content__card--full':posts.length === 1}\" v-for=\"(post, key) in posts\"> <a v-on:click.prevent=\"trackLinkGA($event, key)\" :href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-for-long-term-relationship-health\/post.url\" data-url-source=\"related-content\" class=\"related-content__link\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"\"> <\/p>\n<div class=\"related-content__card--image bg-tan\" :style=\"{ backgroundImage: 'url(' + post.image_url + ')' }\"> <img :src=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/tips-for-long-term-relationship-health\/post.image_url\" :alt=\"post.title\"\/> <\/div>\n<p> <\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <\/related-content> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>\u201cThat doesn&#8217;t mean you&#8217;re always happy,\u201d Dr. Mintz caveats. \u201cReal couples have real conflicts.\u201d But being able work through issues in a respectful way, while actively listening, is a positive sign of a couple&#8217;s resilience.<\/p>\n<h3>2. Make sex a priority<\/h3>\n<p>In the 1970s, psychologist Dorothy Tennov, PhD, coined the early phase of a romantic relationship as the <a href=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/what-is-limerence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/what-is-limerence\/\">\u201climerence phase.&#8221;<\/a> Marked by over-the-top infatuation, it typically lasts anywhere from <a href=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/how-long-will-my-limerence-last\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/livingwithlimerence.com\/how-long-will-my-limerence-last\/\">18 months to three years<\/a>. After this period, says Dr. Mintz, it\u2019s natural for couples to have less sex and physical intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>While sexual dry spells and declined frequency among long-term couples is common, Dr. Mintz says the the happiest, longest-lasting couples make sex a priority. Aside from the numerous physical and mental <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/sex-in-morning-benefits\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/sex-in-morning-benefits\/\">health benefits of sex<\/a>, research shows <a href=\"https:\/\/academic.oup.com\/psychsocgerontology\/article\/69\/3\/482\/624860\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/academic.oup.com\/psychsocgerontology\/article\/69\/3\/482\/624860\">a positive correlation between sexual frequency and overall marital satisfaction<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>For those juggling work, kids, and any other markers of a full life outside the scope of a romantic bond, making sex a priority might require putting it on your calendar. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/scheduling-sex-when-busy\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/scheduling-sex-when-busy\/\">Scheduling sex<\/a> might feel quite <em>un-sexy<\/em>, but according to Dr. Mintz, our idea of \u201cspontaneous\u201d sex actually involves a bit of planning. \u201cBefore you went out on a date, you washed your hair, you put on makeup, you put on clothes,\u201d she points out. \u201cThat was not spontaneous. That was well-orchestrated.\u201d Furthermore, scheduling sex dates gives both partners something to look forward to.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Mintz&#8217;s best tip for initiative sex after a dry spell? Just do it: \u201cIt&#8217;s like driving a car in the winter,&#8221; she says. &#8220;You\u2019ve got to scrape off the ice, and <em>then<\/em> you can have a nice drive.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>3. They accept their partner\u2019s bids for connection<\/h3>\n<p>According to research from relationship psychologists <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/about\/john-julie-gottman\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/about\/john-julie-gottman\/\">John and Julie Gottman,<\/a>\u00a0the longest-lasting married couples regularly accept their partner\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/turn-toward-instead-of-away\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/turn-toward-instead-of-away\/\">bids for connection<\/a>, or \u201cunits of emotional communication.\u201d Common <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/bids-relationships\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/bids-relationships\/\">bids in relationships<\/a> include\u2014but aren\u2019t limited to\u2014sharing highlights from your day, sending funny videos over text, initiating a kiss, or voicing concerns about your relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Turning <em>toward <\/em>our partner\u2019s bids for affection instead of <em>away from<\/em> them shows that we deeply care about their feelings and are excited for the opportunity to connect with them, says Dr. Mintz. Negatively reacting to or blatantly ignoring our loved one\u2019s bids for affection tells them that we don\u2019t care\u2014or respect\u2014their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. \u201cIf your partner turns towards you, turn towards them,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<h3>4. They show love how their partner likes to receive it<\/h3>\n<p>Some folks in long-term relationships are lucky enough to express and receive love in the same way; for those who don&#8217;t, it&#8217;s easy to fall into a trap of not making your partner feel loved or not feeling loved by your partner. For instance, you might feel head-over-heels in love when your partner cleans out the car for you, but that doesn\u2019t mean they feel the same way when you do it for them.<\/p>\n<p>Filling your partner&#8217;s cup means \u201cgiving them what <em>they<\/em> want, not what <em>you <\/em>want,\u201d says Dr. Mintz. If you don\u2019t already know how your partner feels valued and loved, simply ask them what you can do\u2014or do more of\u2014to make them feel adored.<\/p>\n<h3>5. They share a growth mindset<\/h3>\n<p>Do you believe people are in charge of their lives? Or do you believe that destiny decides it all?<\/p>\n<p>If you subscribe to the first line of thought, you have what psychologist <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindsetworks.com\/science\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.mindsetworks.com\/science\/\">Carol Dweck<\/a> calls a \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/fs.blog\/carol-dweck-mindset\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/fs.blog\/carol-dweck-mindset\/\">growth mindset<\/a>,\u201d and that you\u2019re in the driver\u2019s seat of your life. You can change every facet of it, should you decide to. On the flip side, if folks have a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/fixed-mind-set\/\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.wellandgood.com\/fixed-mind-set\/\">fixed mindset<\/a> about their relationship, they may be be less motivated to do the work required to maintain its healthy status.<\/p>\n<p>A growth mindset renders conflicts and flaws as fixable issues that folks can overcome together rather than relationship-ending obstacles set out by the universe. And, says Dr. Mintz, it&#8217;s an empowering mindset for long-term couples.<\/p>\n<h3>6. They try new things together<\/h3>\n<p>While sticking to a comfortable routine might be tempting, Dr. Mintz suggests<i> s<\/i>witching things up a little for the longevity of your relationship. \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/profile\/Elaine-Aron\/publication\/12609069_Couples%27_shared_participation_in_novel_and_arousing_activities_and_experienced_relationship_quality\/links\/5577bd0f08aeacff20004ef3\/Couples-shared-participation-in-novel-and-arousing-activities-and-experienced-relationship-quality.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\" referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer-when-downgrade\" data-vars-event=\"body text\" data-vars-click-url=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/profile\/Elaine-Aron\/publication\/12609069_Couples%27_shared_participation_in_novel_and_arousing_activities_and_experienced_relationship_quality\/links\/5577bd0f08aeacff20004ef3\/Couples-shared-participation-in-novel-and-arousing-activities-and-experienced-relationship-quality.pdf\">The research shows<\/a> that couples who try new things together do novel activities and end up feeling closer,\u201d she says. So, consider taking a dance class, going rock climbing, or trying a new restaurant together.<\/p>\n<p>Variety is the spice of life, after all, and that goes for sex, too, says Dr. Mintz. \u201cMost couples get into a sexual routine,\u201d she says, \u201cbut sometimes, even if it&#8217;s orgasmic, it can get a little boring.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Just as our sexual appetites change over time, our sexual interests and kinks change, too, she adds. This isn&#8217;t to say you should try anything you\u2019re uncomfortable with (please don&#8217;t!), but be willing to explore and try new things in the bedroom. Asking your partner to play in new ways\u2014and inviting them to share their fantasies\u2014can be an exercise of trust and vulnerability. \u201cAlways communicate what you want,\u201d adds Dr. Mintz, \u201cand don&#8217;t assume you [still] know how to push all their buttons.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Above all, Dr. Mintz says that the longest-lasting couples hold a deep amount of respect for their partners and have a willingness to change for the better. Deciding that a relationship is worth fighting for\u2014and doing the work necessary to breathe life into it\u2014is what ensures a relationship\u2019s longevity for years to come.<\/p>\n<div class=\"disclaimers__after_content mb-[18px] mt-[16px] pt-[16px]\">\n<div class=\"outline-earmark relative mt-[8px] pt-[10px] pl-[20px]\">\n<p>\n            Our editors independently select these products. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission.          <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1675549\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Time flies when you\u2019re in love. The first few years of a new relationship are often full of fun dates, passionate encounters, and meaningful milestones. As the years go on, however, status quo can set in, putting you at risk of feeling like you\u2019re paired up with a roommate rather than a romantic partner. Long-term &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4082,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4081"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4081\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}