{"id":15957,"date":"2026-07-14T17:01:44","date_gmt":"2026-07-14T10:01:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=15957"},"modified":"2026-07-14T17:01:44","modified_gmt":"2026-07-14T10:01:44","slug":"perfectionism-in-motherhood-learning-to-let-good-enough-be-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=15957","title":{"rendered":"Perfectionism in Motherhood: Learning to Let Good Enough Be Enough"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-317313 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"596\" height=\"397\"\/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-317313 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"596\" height=\"397\" srcset=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/shutterstock_1734199931-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 596px) 100vw, 596px\"\/><\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">For a very long time, I believed one of my greatest strengths was my ability to work hard. I was the kind of person who liked making plans and seeing them through to get the best possible result\u2014because that\u2019s what plans are for\u2026right?<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">If there was something I wanted to achieve, I had no problem putting in the effort to earn it. Whether it was studying for an exam, preparing for a competition, or building my career, I trusted that if I showed up consistently and worked hard, things would eventually work out.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Looking back, I don\u2019t think there was anything wrong with that mindset, and I still don\u2019t believe there\u2019s anything inherently bad about thinking that way. As a matter of fact, it helped me have many of the opportunities and experiences I\u2019m very grateful for today.<\/p>\n<p>It taught me important skills like discipline and resilience. It taught me that meaningful things usually take time and that there\u2019s something deeply satisfying about seeing your hard work pay off. If I struggled with something, I didn\u2019t immediately assume I couldn\u2019t do it. I just thought I needed to learn a little more, and with some extra effort, I\u2019d eventually make it happen.<\/p>\n<h2>When Hard Work Became Tied to My Self-Worth<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">However, over time, that strong work ethic stopped being just one of the tools that helped me succeed and started to become something I relied on in order to feel worthy of succeeding at all.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Without even realising it, I started attaching my self-worth to how well I performed, how productive I was, and how many things I could handle at once. It didn\u2019t feel unhealthy because society often rewards people who are organised, driven, and capable. Quite the opposite. In school and most workplaces, it\u2019s something that is even admired and encouraged.<\/p>\n<p>I never thought of myself as a perfectionist, though.<\/p>\n<h2>Why I Never Thought of Myself as a Perfectionist<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">If someone had asked me whether I was a perfectionist before becoming a mum, I probably would have said no without much hesitation.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I didn\u2019t need my wardrobe colour-coded, my house to look spotless at all times, or every wrinkle ironed out of my clothes. My priority was simply wanting to do a good job, and perhaps I set quite high standards for myself a lot of the time\u2026that\u2019s all.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">It was a way of life and something that had served me well for many years, but it was also becoming a path towards burnout\u2014and I never saw it coming.<\/p>\n<p>What truly triggered it was becoming a mum because the familiar pattern I\u2019d relied on for creating success suddenly didn\u2019t seem to apply anymore.<\/p>\n<h2>Trying to Be the Best Mum I Could Be<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">As a new mum, I approached motherhood in exactly the same way I had tackled everything else that mattered in my life. I was determined to be the BEST mum I could be.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I wanted to learn and understand my son\u2019s needs, build healthy routines, continue growing professionally, and still enjoy my time with family and friends.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">These are things I still value very highly, and having those goals wasn\u2019t the problem. The problem was the invisible expectation I put behind them.<\/p>\n<p>I felt I had to do every single one of them as well as humanly possible. Somewhere along the way, I\u2019d convinced myself that I could\u2014as long as I was willing to give enough of myself.<\/p>\n<h2>Searching for the Perfect Formula for Motherhood<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">At first, I really believed I just had to find a way back to the routines I had before having my son.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Once I figured out the perfect formula for motherhood and how to fit everything back into my day-to-day life, everything would feel normal again. I\u2019d finally feel like I was back on track. (Being on track is very important!)<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I\u2019d know exactly when to work, when to exercise, what to cook, when to relax, and when to simply enjoy spending time with my son.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Well\u2026that didn\u2019t happen, I can tell you that.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, every day felt like I was trying to untangle a bundle of knots, and every time I loosened two of them, three more appeared somewhere else.<\/p>\n<h2>When the Plan Met the Reality of Motherhood<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Every morning, I\u2019d get out of bed with determination and a plan. Before my feet even touched the floor, I was already mentally organising the day ahead and doing the reverse math needed to make it all work.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">During breakfast, I\u2019d be thinking about what I wanted to achieve during nap time. Perhaps today would finally be the day I\u2019d finish writing that article I\u2019d been working on. Maybe I\u2019d fit in a workout afterwards, reply to the messages I\u2019d been putting off, prepare a healthy dinner, and still have enough energy left in the evening.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">That was always the plan.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Then there was the reality of life.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">My math started to break down when it took 45 minutes to get my son down for a nap, only for him to wake up 15 minutes later instead of sleeping for the two hours I\u2019d planned for.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Then I\u2019d spend 20 minutes cleaning up food that had somehow ended up everywhere except in his mouth. By the time I finally sat down to work, I\u2019d remember the laundry that still needed doing, the groceries I had to add to tomorrow\u2019s shopping list, and the message I\u2019d meant to reply to a week ago\u2026oops.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">These were all normal, everyday things, but every extra task felt like another reminder that the version of the day I\u2019d imagined that morning was very much gone\u2014and that I hadn\u2019t done enough.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">And, of course, I blamed myself.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I never questioned whether my expectations were realistic. Instead, I questioned where I was lacking.<\/p>\n<p>Why hadn\u2019t I planned better? Why hadn\u2019t I been more organised? Why couldn\u2019t I stay focused enough to get everything done?<\/p>\n<h2>Why I Always Felt Like I Wasn\u2019t Doing Enough<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">To make matters worse, social media seemed to confirm that everyone else had already figured it out.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">They appeared to have thriving businesses, went on nature walks with their kids, made it to the gym several times a week, and somehow managed to make it all look like it was no big deal.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Meanwhile, I felt like I was doing a little bit of everything but never enough of anything. The finish line seemed to move further away despite my every effort to get closer.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Looking back now, I realise just how exhausting that way of thinking really was because my mind was never allowed to rest.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Even when I tried to relax, I was mentally calculating what I could or should be doing instead. If I sat down to play with my son, part of my brain was thinking about work. If I was working, I felt guilty that I wasn\u2019t spending time with him.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">If I managed to fit in a workout, I felt like I had to squeeze every last drop of effort out of it to make it \u201cworth it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There was always another task waiting, another responsibility I hadn\u2019t quite lived up to, or another area of life where I felt I could have done better.<\/p>\n<h2>Perfectionism Doesn\u2019t Always Look Like Perfectionism<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I think this is exactly why this kind of perfectionism is so difficult to recognise.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">It rarely feels like we\u2019re trying to be perfect. It just feels like we\u2019re being responsible and driven.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">We want to give our children the best childhood possible. We want to be present, contribute to our family, look after our health, and continue growing as individuals.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">None of those desires are unhealthy.<\/p>\n<p>The problem begins when they quietly shift from being core values into daily expectations\u2014things we feel we HAVE to achieve in order to feel worthy and enough.<\/p>\n<h2>How Planning and Overthinking Kept Me Stuck<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">For me, this often showed up as endless planning and tweaking.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I procrastinated on many decisions because the timing never felt quite right or because I couldn\u2019t see how my \u201cperfect plan\u201d would be possible.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I wanted to avoid making mistakes\u2014or, even worse, FAIL\u2014because I already felt like I wasn\u2019t doing enough.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">It was the illusion that if I just thought about something for a little longer, researched a little more, or waited for the right time, I could somehow guarantee a better outcome.<\/p>\n<p>It took me longer than I\u2019d like to admit to realise that this exact thinking and behaviour made me feel like I was failing every day in some way\u2014the very thing I worked so hard to avoid at all costs.<\/p>\n<h2>What Perfectionism in Motherhood Can Look Like<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Your version might not look anything like mine. Maybe yours looks like spending hours researching schools because you\u2019re terrified of making the wrong choice for your child. Maybe it\u2019s convincing yourself that every meal has to be homemade or every birthday party has to be magical. Perhaps you\u2019ve been thinking about starting a business, changing careers, or taking better care of your health, but you keep waiting until you\u2019ve got more time or a better plan.<\/p>\n<p>On the surface, these situations all look different. Underneath, however, they are often driven by the same thing: a fear that we\u2019re somehow not good enough.<\/p>\n<h2>What I Was Really Searching for Was Certainty<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Looking back now, I can see that what I was really searching for wasn\u2019t perfection at all. It was certainty.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I wanted reassurance that if I put in enough effort, planned carefully enough, and thought everything through, I could somehow guarantee the outcome I wanted\u2014and that I wouldn\u2019t fail.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">But let\u2019s be honest: That\u2019s not how life works, and it\u2019s certainly not how motherhood works. Motherhood has truly been the greatest teacher I\u2019ve ever had because it constantly challenges old patterns and beliefs that I didn\u2019t even realise I was carrying. It turns out we can prepare, but we can\u2019t control everything.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">The reality is that you can do everything \u201cright,\u201d and your baby still won\u2019t sleep. You can prepare the healthiest meal imaginable, and your toddler will look at it with pure disgust. You can organise your entire week down to the smallest detail, only to have sleepless nights, illness, or unexpected challenges completely change every plan you made.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">None of those things mean you\u2019re failing. They simply mean you\u2019re living a real life with real people rather than trying to execute a perfectly designed project inside a vacuum.<\/p>\n<h2>The Question That Changed Everything<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">This was an incredibly uncomfortable lesson for someone like me who thrived on feeling in control, being productive, and being \u201csuccessful.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">For a long time, I kept asking myself, \u201cHow can I become better at doing everything?\u201d It took me quite some time to realise that was the wrong question.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">The better question was, \u201cWhy do I believe I have to?\u201d That single question changed everything because it made me realise I wasn\u2019t just trying to be a good mum.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I was trying to prove that I could still be the capable, organised, and high-achieving woman I\u2019d always been. Somewhere along the way, I\u2019d started believing that if I wasn\u2019t doing all of that, I was somehow becoming less than the person I used to be.<\/p>\n<h2>Motherhood Didn\u2019t Make Me Less Capable<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">But motherhood didn\u2019t make me less capable. It simply asked for a different version of me.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Instead of measuring success by how much I could fit into a day, it invited me to think about what actually mattered most. Instead of trying to prove my worth through productivity, it asked me to be present. Instead of constantly chasing the next thing on my to-do list, I was reminded that some of the most meaningful moments in life can\u2019t be measured by how much you\u2019ve achieved before bedtime.<\/p>\n<p>It asked me to embrace the fact that good enough IS enough. There\u2019s no need to do everything exactly as planned.<\/p>\n<h2>What Being a Recovering Perfectionist Means to Me<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">I\u2019m still learning, and I still catch myself wanting to overthink before taking action. Part of me still wants to move as far away from uncertainty as possible because that\u2019s what has always felt safe.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">The difference now is that I recognise those thoughts for what they are: old patterns that once helped me navigate life but no longer serve the life I want to build. Becoming a \u201crecovering perfectionist\u201d hasn\u2019t meant lowering my standards or caring less about the things that matter to me.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">It means letting go of the impossible standards I placed on myself and building a life that feels meaningful instead of worrying about what it looks like from the outside. I\u2019d rather my son remember a mum who laughed with him, played with him, and was truly present than one who spent every day trying to tick one more box or prove one more thing.<\/p>\n<h2>Good Enough Doesn\u2019t Mean Settling for Less<\/h2>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Motherhood keeps teaching me things I don\u2019t think I could have learned any other way.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">It helped me untangle my worth from my accomplishments and challenged the belief that I always had to do more, achieve more, or prove myself in order to be enough.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\"><strong>And if motherhood has taught me anything, it\u2019s that \u201cgood enough\u201d doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m settling for less. It means giving myself permission to stop chasing a version of life that isn\u2019t me anymore.<\/strong> <em>\u2014Marlene<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2026\/07\/perfectionism-in-motherhood-learning-to-let-good-enough-be-enough\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For a very long time, I believed one of my greatest strengths was my ability to work hard. I was the kind of person who liked making plans and seeing them through to get the best possible result\u2014because that\u2019s what plans are for\u2026right? If there was something I wanted to achieve, I had no problem &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15957","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fitness"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"For a very long time, I believed one of my greatest strengths was my ability to work hard. 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