{"id":15431,"date":"2025-12-16T17:40:20","date_gmt":"2025-12-16T10:40:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=15431"},"modified":"2025-12-16T17:40:20","modified_gmt":"2025-12-16T10:40:20","slug":"the-myth-of-the-good-mom-how-self-sacrifice-is-hurting-mothers-and-their-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=15431","title":{"rendered":"The Myth of the \u201cGood Mom\u201d: How Self-Sacrifice Is Hurting Mothers\u2014and Their Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"581\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-317204 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"512\" height=\"341\"\/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-317204 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"512\" height=\"341\" srcset=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/shutterstock_2147050599-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\"\/><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"581\">Somewhere along the way, we were sold a lie.<br data-start=\"484\" data-end=\"487\"\/>I\u2019m not sure exactly when it started, but I know I heard it loud and clear when I was younger.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"583\" data-end=\"678\">A lie wrapped in devotion and disguised as love.<br data-start=\"631\" data-end=\"634\"\/>I can still remember what I used to believe:<\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"680\" data-end=\"799\">\n<p data-start=\"682\" data-end=\"799\"><em data-start=\"682\" data-end=\"799\">\u201cBetter do everything you want in life before you have children, because once you do\u2026 your life is all about them.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"801\" data-end=\"1018\">Maybe your version sounded different. Maybe it came from family, culture, or the subtle messaging we all absorb growing up. But wherever it came from, it grows into the same story I hear mothers tell me over and over.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1020\" data-end=\"1090\">Honestly, it\u2019s probably the biggest roadblock any mom has to overcome.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1092\" data-end=\"1118\">What they tell me is this:<\/p>\n<blockquote data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1211\">\n<p data-start=\"1122\" data-end=\"1211\"><em data-start=\"1122\" data-end=\"1211\">\u201cA good mother always puts her children\u2019s needs above her own. They always come first.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"1213\" data-end=\"1464\">And with that belief comes endless guilt every time they take even a tiny sliver of time for themselves. These moms are exhausted and burned out because they\u2019ve been taught their worth is measured by how much they give away while getting nothing back.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1466\" data-end=\"1542\">Self-sacrifice becomes noble\u2026 expected\u2026 even celebrated.<br data-start=\"1522\" data-end=\"1525\"\/>A badge of honor.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1544\" data-end=\"1604\">Here\u2019s the part many mothers I work with struggle to accept:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1606\" data-end=\"1710\"><strong data-start=\"1606\" data-end=\"1710\">This is the biggest lie of modern motherhood\u2014and one of the most damaging myths we\u2019ve ever believed.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2><b>The Motherhood Myth We\u2019re All Swimming In<\/b><\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"1767\" data-end=\"1980\">I\u2019m on a call with a mom who wanted help getting back into exercise after her second baby. Before kids, she was incredibly consistent with her workouts. But now, she feels like there\u2019s no time left for her at all.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1982\" data-end=\"2084\">We talk about her goals and different options she could try.<br data-start=\"2042\" data-end=\"2045\"\/>But I\u2019m still sensing she\u2019s not all in.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2185\">There\u2019s always a \u201cyes, but\u2026\u201d<br data-start=\"2114\" data-end=\"2117\"\/>Always a reason it wouldn\u2019t work.<br data-start=\"2150\" data-end=\"2153\"\/>Always a reason she can\u2019t start.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2187\" data-end=\"2314\">After a while, something becomes very clear to me. She\u2019s not struggling with time\u2026 she\u2019s stuck in her role as <em data-start=\"2297\" data-end=\"2314\">\u201cthe good mom.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2316\" data-end=\"2574\">Let me tell you\u2014this woman was no joke. Executive position. Driven. Hard-working. Deeply devoted to her family. She wanted to change; she truly did. But no matter what alternative I gave her, she couldn\u2019t bring herself to shift even one thing in her routine.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2576\" data-end=\"2605\">Why? Because she felt guilty.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2607\" data-end=\"2782\">She\u2019s already spending so much time at work, and now she\u2019s supposed to \u201ctake even more time away\u201d to train during her off-hours? She tells me she can\u2019t do that\u2014it feels wrong.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2784\" data-end=\"2836\">Because in her mind, her children always come first.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2838\" data-end=\"2953\">And listen, I\u2019m a mom. I absolutely get where she\u2019s coming from. There\u2019s almost nothing I wouldn\u2019t do for my child.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2955\" data-end=\"3023\">Here\u2019s where this belief has been twisted and lost its real meaning.<\/p>\n<h2 data-start=\"2955\" data-end=\"3023\">What Being a \u201cGood Mom\u201d Actually Means<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"3077\" data-end=\"3234\">Being a good mother isn\u2019t about constantly putting your kids\u2019 needs above your own.<br data-start=\"3160\" data-end=\"3163\"\/>Being a good mother is about doing what\u2019s truly best for your children.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3236\" data-end=\"3265\">And here\u2019s the real question:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"3267\" data-end=\"3547\">\n<li data-start=\"3267\" data-end=\"3362\">\n<p data-start=\"3269\" data-end=\"3362\">Is it in your child\u2019s best interest to have a mom who\u2019s so burned out she can\u2019t be present?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"3363\" data-end=\"3460\">\n<p data-start=\"3365\" data-end=\"3460\">A mom who\u2019s running on empty, without the energy or patience to handle big emotional moments?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"3461\" data-end=\"3547\">\n<p data-start=\"3463\" data-end=\"3547\">A mom who tells her kids to stand up for themselves\u2014while modeling self-abandonment?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"3549\" data-end=\"3639\">It\u2019s wild that we\u2019ve been conditioned to believe this is what great motherhood looks like.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3641\" data-end=\"3681\">So let me offer you another perspective.<\/p>\n<h2 data-start=\"3641\" data-end=\"3681\">Why Mothers Deserve the Same Standard as Pilots and Firefighters<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"3761\" data-end=\"3841\">I believe mothers should be held to the same standard as pilots or firefighters.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3843\" data-end=\"3856\">Stay with me\u2026<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3858\" data-end=\"4061\">These professionals are held to strict standards around rest, training, and self-maintenance\u2014not because they\u2019re special, but because lives depend on them. They are <em data-start=\"4023\" data-end=\"4033\">required<\/em> to take care of themselves.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4063\" data-end=\"4097\">Mothers deserve the same standard.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4099\" data-end=\"4260\">No one is going to set those rules for us, so we have to do that ourselves. And sure, we may not be responsible for many lives\u2026 but isn\u2019t one life enough reason?<\/p>\n<h2 data-start=\"4099\" data-end=\"4260\">The Patterns We Inherit\u2014and Repeat<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"4310\" data-end=\"4384\">Remember the mom I mentioned? The one struggling to take time for herself?<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4386\" data-end=\"4610\">I asked her about her role models growing up. She told me she was raised by a single mom who worked nonstop and spent every spare minute with her children. She couldn\u2019t remember her mom ever going out with friends. Not once.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4612\" data-end=\"4701\">She worked.<br data-start=\"4623\" data-end=\"4626\"\/>She took care of the house.<br data-start=\"4653\" data-end=\"4656\"\/>She took care of her kids.<br data-start=\"4682\" data-end=\"4685\"\/>And that was it.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4703\" data-end=\"4777\">So what pattern did this mom repeat? Exactly the one she grew up watching.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4779\" data-end=\"4874\">That\u2019s why she felt so guilty\u2014because she was trying to go against a deeply embedded blueprint.<\/p>\n<h2 data-start=\"4779\" data-end=\"4874\">What Children Actually Learn From Their Mothers<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"4937\" data-end=\"4963\">Here\u2019s another hard truth:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4965\" data-end=\"5088\">Kids don\u2019t learn from what we tell them. They learn from what we model. <em data-start=\"5039\" data-end=\"5088\">(It\u2019s a lot of responsibility to carry\u2014I know.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5090\" data-end=\"5172\">But when we decide to break the \u201cselfless martyr mom\u201d mold, we teach our children:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"5174\" data-end=\"5398\">\n<li data-start=\"5174\" data-end=\"5233\">\n<p data-start=\"5176\" data-end=\"5233\">What a healthy, strong, well-supported adult looks like<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5234\" data-end=\"5267\">\n<p data-start=\"5236\" data-end=\"5267\">That self-love starts with us<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5268\" data-end=\"5312\">\n<p data-start=\"5270\" data-end=\"5312\">That others\u2019 needs matter\u2014and so do ours<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5313\" data-end=\"5338\">\n<p data-start=\"5315\" data-end=\"5338\">How to set boundaries<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"5339\" data-end=\"5398\">\n<p data-start=\"5341\" data-end=\"5398\">That loving someone doesn\u2019t require abandoning yourself<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"5400\" data-end=\"5411\">Simply put:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5413\" data-end=\"5510\"><strong data-start=\"5413\" data-end=\"5510\">Children raised by mothers who value themselves are far more likely to value themselves, too.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2><b>This Change Doesn\u2019t Happen Overnight (and You Weren\u2019t Meant to Do It Alone)<\/b><\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"5601\" data-end=\"5639\">There\u2019s one more important piece here.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5641\" data-end=\"5831\">It\u2019s not always as simple as saying, \u201cGo take care of yourself, mama!\u201d and all is well in the world. You can\u2019t pour from an empty cup\u2026 but you also can\u2019t magically refill it without support.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5833\" data-end=\"5929\">And the belief that moms must do everything alone?<br data-start=\"5883\" data-end=\"5886\"\/>Yep\u2014that\u2019s another version of the same lie.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5931\" data-end=\"5988\">To step out of the cycle of self-sacrifice, mothers need:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"5990\" data-end=\"6195\">\n<li data-start=\"5990\" data-end=\"6019\">\n<p data-start=\"5992\" data-end=\"6019\">Systems that support them<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"6020\" data-end=\"6113\">\n<p data-start=\"6022\" data-end=\"6113\">People who have their back (a coach, partner, friends, community\u2014whoever that is for you)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"6114\" data-end=\"6195\">\n<p data-start=\"6116\" data-end=\"6195\">A society that normalizes maternal well-being instead of hustle and depletion<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-start=\"6197\" data-end=\"6275\">You are not meant to be the entire village.<br data-start=\"6240\" data-end=\"6243\"\/>You are meant to be part of one.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6277\" data-end=\"6442\">My hope is that, over time, you build your support network and find the people who cheer for you, help you, support your choices, and remind you that you matter too.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6444\" data-end=\"6593\">Because when you\u2019re responsible for someone as precious as a child, you deserve to take time to stay at your best\u2014just like a pilot or a firefighter.<\/p>\n<h2 data-start=\"6444\" data-end=\"6593\">A New Belief for Modern Motherhood<\/h2>\n<p data-start=\"6643\" data-end=\"6689\">My mission is to plant a new, powerful belief:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6691\" data-end=\"6776\"><strong data-start=\"6691\" data-end=\"6776\">The more a mother enjoys her motherhood, the more a child enjoys their childhood.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6778\" data-end=\"6811\">Those two things are inseparable.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6813\" data-end=\"6882\"><strong>Children do better when their mothers are well, supported, and happy. Period. <\/strong><em>\u2014Marlene<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2025\/12\/the-myth-of-the-good-mom-how-self-sacrifice-is-hurting-mothers-and-their-kids\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Somewhere along the way, we were sold a lie.I\u2019m not sure exactly when it started, but I know I heard it loud and clear when I was younger. A lie wrapped in devotion and disguised as love.I can still remember what I used to believe: \u201cBetter do everything you want in life before you have &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fitness"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}