{"id":14593,"date":"2025-07-02T16:42:58","date_gmt":"2025-07-02T09:42:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=14593"},"modified":"2025-07-02T16:42:58","modified_gmt":"2025-07-02T09:42:58","slug":"what-death-taught-me-about-life-a-mindful-approach-to-grief-loss-and-aging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=14593","title":{"rendered":"What Death Taught Me About Life: A Mindful Approach to Grief, Loss, and Aging"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-316902 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"697\" height=\"465\"\/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-316902 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"697\" height=\"465\" srcset=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/shutterstock_1202298013-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 697px) 100vw, 697px\"\/><\/p>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"><em>Note: The post below references my experiences with and thoughts on death and dying. These are topics we each must approach in our own way and in our own time. If you feel ready to dive in with me, read on.<\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\"><strong>\u201cAll we know is that everything ends. Our collective death denial inspires us to behave like we can live forever. But we don\u2019t have forever to create the life we want.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\u2015\u00a0Alua Arthur,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/work\/quotes\/92332867\" class=\"external\" rel=\"nofollow\">Briefly Perfectly Human: Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">Facing the Fear: Turning Toward Death<\/h3>\n<p>Like people in the world of Harry Potter saying \u201cHe Who Must Not Be Named\u201d instead of \u201cVoldemort,\u201d in our culture <a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2018\/02\/introducing-the-concept-of-death-to-young-kids-5-things-i-learned\/\">death<\/a> is often treated as if the mere mention of it will bring it upon us. We speak in euphemisms and tiptoe around the topic.<\/p>\n<p>Not talking about something gives it power. It makes it feel scary. But like <a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2019\/08\/that-time-i-gave-birth-to-twins-and-nothing-went-according-to-plan\/\">birth<\/a>, death is part of the human experience. Its certainty is what gives life its shape, meaning, and urgency.<\/p>\n<h3>When the Call Comes<\/h3>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">When our kids were little, my sister and I would take turns visiting each other\u2014kids in tow\u2014for a week or more. I\u2019d drive to Massachusetts in July to stay with my parents in our childhood home, and she\u2019d come down to New Jersey in August. We were both stay-at-home moms then, and summer felt like a shared exhale. I don\u2019t know who enjoyed the freedom of summer more\u2014us or the kids.<\/p>\n<p>That particular August, my sister and nephews had just arrived. We\u2019d moved into a new home in a new town, and I was craving the ease and familiarity of time with family. Our first outing was to a local \u201cspray-ground\u201d\u2014a water playground I\u2019d recently discovered. We waited until late afternoon when the crowds had cleared. The kids had just run off into the sprinklers when my phone rang.<\/p>\n<p>It was my stepfather. He never called.<\/p>\n<p>I showed my sister the screen, already bracing for news about our mom.<\/p>\n<p>But it wasn\u2019t about her. His voice broke as disjointed words tumbled out: \u201cHe\u2019s going to die\u2026 Mike\u2026 accident\u2026 head injury\u2026 medevac\u2026 Boston Medical Center\u2026 come home.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Mike. My brother.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t remember leaving the park. Just numb motion. Calling my husband, who had just landed in California. He booked the next flight to Boston. My sister and I rushed back to my house and began throwing clothes into bags.<\/p>\n<p>My eyes landed on a black skirt. Head reeling, I walked into the hallway and called to my sister, \u201cAm I\u2026 am I packing for a funeral?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think so,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n<h3>The Shock of Sudden Loss<\/h3>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">Mike was 37, just a year younger than me. I had seen him barely a month before at our family\u2019s annual Fourth of July gathering. His death was a searing lightning bolt. A brutal reminder that life is never promised. That we are not to assume another moment beyond this one.<\/p>\n<p>His loss left an ache that will never fully heal\u2014but it also reshaped the way I live. I hold my hugs longer. I say the words that truly matter. I try to let people know they\u2019re appreciated while I still can.<\/p>\n<h3>My Sister Kelly: The Grief That Was Erased<\/h3>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">My family\u2019s relationship with death began long before Mike.<\/p>\n<p>Before I was born, my parents lost their first child\u2014my sister Kelly\u2014to a staph infection when she was only weeks old. The grief was so consuming that my father insisted everything connected to her be thrown away. There are almost no reminders of her brief time on earth.<\/p>\n<p>Kelly was loved with such intensity that remembering her was too painful. It felt easier for my father to erase her than to endure her absence. My mother grieved in silence.<\/p>\n<p>This way of coping is not unusual. It\u2019s part of a wider cultural discomfort with grief. We\u2019re taught to push it away, expected to \u201cmove on\u201d too quickly. We pretend we\u2019re okay to save others from feeling uncomfortable.<\/p>\n<p>When my father died in 2019, my first thought was of Kelly. I don\u2019t know exactly what their reunion looked like, but I believe\u2014with my whole heart\u2014that there was one.<\/p>\n<h3>Seeing the Beauty in Loss<\/h3>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">Grief is not only pain. It\u2019s also love in its purest form. In the wake of Mike\u2019s death, our family and community came together in ways that still bring me comfort. We cried, yes\u2014but we also laughed. We told stories. We remembered Mike\u2019s kindness, his humor, the way he showed up for people. We learned things about him we might never have known otherwise.<\/p>\n<p>There was beauty there\u2014in the brokenness. And in the connection. In the memories.<\/p>\n<h3 data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">Inner Work: Mindful Practices for Embracing Mortality<\/h3>\n<p>In 2020, I studied with a former Buddhist monk to attain my Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification. At one of our mentoring sessions, he asked if there was a meditation that \u201cbrings up a lot of energy for me.\u201d I told him about a meditation in the book <em>Guided Meditations, Explorations, and Healings<\/em> by Stephen Levine called \u201cA Guided Meditation on Dying,\u201d and how it evoked both curiosity and fear. He suggested I work with it.<\/p>\n<p>This meditation asks you to find a place in your home where you would want to be when you die. You then feel into your physical body and distinguish it from the part of you that is pure awareness\u2014the part animated by the same divine spark as all life.<\/p>\n<p>With this distinction made, you turn your attention to the breath, letting go of each exhale as if it is your last. After some time, you shift your focus to each inhale as if it were your first. Wondrous. New. Full of possibility.<\/p>\n<p>Even though I was nervous and fearful going in, I came out feeling connected and grateful. Meditating on dying reminded me what really matters in the end: love. It also reminded me not to waste time on things that don\u2019t fulfill me or bring me joy.<\/p>\n<h3 data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">Aging as a Gift and a Privilege<\/h3>\n<p>Mike\u2019s sudden departure changed how I see my own aging. I state my age without shame. I know what the alternative to <a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2024\/10\/turning-50-redefining-aging-on-our-terms\/\">aging<\/a> is. I will never take a birthday for granted.<\/p>\n<p>As for the crow\u2019s feet, the smile lines, the gray hairs\u2014I\u2019ll take them too. They\u2019re all evidence that I\u2019m still here. Still breathing. Still loving. Still learning. Still part of this awe-inspiring, complicated, precious life.<\/p>\n<p>Each day is another chance to show up fully. To appreciate what we often take for granted. To live, not in fear of death, but in reverence for it\u2014and gratitude for the significance it brings to life.<\/p>\n<h3 data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">A Sacred Reminder to Live Fully<\/h3>\n<p>We may not get to choose how or when death arrives, but we <em>can<\/em> choose how we relate to it.<\/p>\n<p>We can meet it with fear or with reverence. We can avoid thinking or talking about it. Or we can let it sharpen our awareness and clarify our values. Death is not just the end\u2014it is also a sacred reminder to live fully while we\u2019re here.<\/p>\n<p>To speak the words. Hug the people. Laugh loud. Cry freely. Feel the sun. Risk joy.<\/p>\n<p>In this light, aging becomes a privilege. Grief becomes a mirror of our love. And death\u2014rather than a shadow we run from\u2014becomes a teacher. A quiet guide showing us how to live, fully and presently, while we still can.<\/p>\n<h3 data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">Shifting Your Relationship with Death<\/h3>\n<p>If you feel ready to shift your relationship with death, you don\u2019t have to jump right into meditation.<\/p>\n<p>Find a safe person who can hold space for you\u2014a good friend, trusted mentor, therapist, or spiritual leader\u2014and gently begin sharing your ideas surrounding death. Because here\u2019s what I know: avoidance doesn\u2019t make something go away\u2014it just makes it loom larger.<\/p>\n<p>We don\u2019t have to be fearless\u2014just honest.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And when we stop running, we might find that the reality of death enlivens and enriches every moment of life.<\/strong> <em>\u2014Karin<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2025\/07\/a-mindful-approach-to-grief-death-and-aging\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Note: The post below references my experiences with and thoughts on death and dying. These are topics we each must approach in our own way and in our own time. If you feel ready to dive in with me, read on. \u201cAll we know is that everything ends. Our collective death denial inspires us to &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fitness"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14593","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14593"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14593\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14593"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14593"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14593"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}