{"id":13668,"date":"2025-03-18T04:15:36","date_gmt":"2025-03-17T21:15:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=13668"},"modified":"2025-03-18T04:15:36","modified_gmt":"2025-03-17T21:15:36","slug":"when-the-personal-becomes-political-raising-a-trans-or-nonbinary-child-in-a-polarized-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=13668","title":{"rendered":"When the Personal Becomes Political: Raising a Trans or Nonbinary Child in a Polarized World"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-316525 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/sp-ao.shortpixel.ai\/client\/to_webp,q_glossy,ret_img,w_546,h_364\/https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"Scrabble tiles arranged on a blue background to spell 'Gender Identity,' intersecting with pronouns 'Him,' 'Her,' and 'Them,' symbolizing the diversity of gender identities and pronoun use.\" width=\"546\" height=\"364\"\/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-316525 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"Scrabble tiles arranged on a blue background to spell 'Gender Identity,' intersecting with pronouns 'Him,' 'Her,' and 'Them,' symbolizing the diversity of gender identities and pronoun use.\" width=\"546\" height=\"364\" srcset=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/shutterstock_2215238343-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 546px) 100vw, 546px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>Parenting is full of unexpected challenges, but I never expected that simply stating my child\u2019s nonbinary gender identity would become a political act. As a Gen Xer with two kids\u2014a 24-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old nonbinary child\u2014I\u2019ve seen firsthand how something as deeply personal as gender identity is now a battleground for debate and an invitation for unprovoked, hateful words.<\/p>\n<p>From family members refusing to use the correct pronouns to complete strangers feeling entitled to voice their opinions about my child\u2019s existence, the journey has been both eye-opening and exhausting. Yet, amid the struggle, I\u2019ve found unwavering support in communities that understand what\u2019s at stake.<\/p>\n<p>This is our story\u2014a reflection on the intersection of identity and politics in a deeply-divided world.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><em>***Content Warning: this essay contains brief mentions of depression and suicide.***<\/em><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My Child\u2019s Gender Identity is Not Up For Debate<\/h2>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In 2020, when I first started using they\/them pronouns in reference to my youngest, a Reiki practitioner I had once visited for a session DM\u2019d me to tell me that there are only two genders \u2013 male and female \u2013 and that my child was mentally ill and needed psychiatric help. This accompanied an anti-\u201cwoke\u201d rant about gender ideology and indoctrination in our schools.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong><em>Incidentally, <a href=\"https:\/\/transhealthproject.org\/resources\/medical-organization-statements\/\" class=\"external\" rel=\"nofollow\">here\u2019s a list of 30 Medical Organization Statements in support of gender affirming care<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Upon mention of being a parent or having kids, the first two questions are always:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>\u201cBoy(s) or girl(s)?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHow old?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For those of us with non-binary kids, that first question comes along with a fleeting mental assessment: How will what I\u2019m about to say be received?<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My reply \u2013 \u201cI have a 24-year old daughter and my 21-year old is non-binary\u201d \u2013 is no longer simply the answer to a personal question. Like it or not, it\u2019s a political statement.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are three general responses:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>The person \u201cgets it\u201d and supports unconditionally.<\/li>\n<li>The person doesn\u2019t \u201cget it\u201d but tries to understand and is fine with it.<\/li>\n<li>The person doesn\u2019t \u201cget it\u201d, doesn\u2019t want to, and has no intention to try.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know that not everyone will \u201cget it\u201d but the effort to understand and not make it an argument about my child\u2019s right to exist is the important part here. I always appreciate those who make an effort to use the correct pronouns. Even if they stumble, their willingness to try is everything. After all, we\u2019re all just human doing the best we can.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong><em>If concepts surrounding Gender Expression are new or unfamiliar, I recommend checking out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thetrevorproject.org\/\" class=\"external\" rel=\"nofollow\">The Trevor Project<\/a>\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thetrevorproject.org\/resources\/guide\/a-guide-to-being-an-ally-to-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth\/\" class=\"external\" rel=\"nofollow\">Guide to Being an Ally to Transgender and Nonbinary Young People<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Navigating Gender Identity and Parenting in a Changing World<\/h2>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not everyone makes that effort. Some of my own family members refuse to use the correct pronouns\u2014despite years of conversations, explanations, and research-backed evidence showing that gender affirmation reduces depression and suicide risk.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This past summer, after four years of trying, I made an emotional plea. I told them how hurt and disrespected I felt every time they misgendered my child. It didn\u2019t matter. They refused to budge.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then, the political climate shifted even further, reinforcing the resistance I had already been facing at home when Trump signed an executive order last month declaring there are only two genders. It felt like a slap in the face. For five years, I had tried to get these family members to respect my child\u2019s gender expression and now, the leader of the country was giving them permission not to. He reinforced their narrow-mindedness and cruelty.<\/p>\n<h3>What Research Says About Gender Identity and Mental Health<\/h3>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-316438 alignright lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/sp-ao.shortpixel.ai\/client\/to_webp,q_glossy,ret_img,w_324,h_283\/https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/approximately-1.1-of-the-us-population-self-identifies-as-transgender-300x262.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"324\" height=\"283\"\/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-316438 alignright lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/approximately-1.1-of-the-us-population-self-identifies-as-transgender-300x262.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"324\" height=\"283\" srcset=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/approximately-1.1-of-the-us-population-self-identifies-as-transgender-300x262.png 300w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/approximately-1.1-of-the-us-population-self-identifies-as-transgender-1024x893.png 1024w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/approximately-1.1-of-the-us-population-self-identifies-as-transgender-768x670.png 768w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/approximately-1.1-of-the-us-population-self-identifies-as-transgender-150x131.png 150w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/approximately-1.1-of-the-us-population-self-identifies-as-transgender.png 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 324px) 100vw, 324px\"\/>There\u2019s a reason why <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thetrevorproject.org\/survey-2024\/#intro\" class=\"external\" rel=\"nofollow\">over 90% of LGBTQ+ young people say their well-being was negatively impacted due to recent politics<\/a>. Their very existence is being politicized and debated.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <a href=\"https:\/\/usafacts.org\/\" class=\"external\" rel=\"nofollow\">USA Facts<\/a>, only 1.52% of the U.S. population identifies as non-binary and 1.1% identifies as transgender. Despite making up such a small percentage of the population, trans and nonbinary people have become the focus of legislation, misinformation, and intense public scrutiny\u2014often by those who refuse to listen to their lived experiences.<\/p>\n<p>It really amounts to a lot of people with big, hateful opinions about a tiny group of people they don\u2019t care to know anything about.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To say that I\u2019m concerned about the direction in which our country appears to be headed is an understatement. At the same time, it seems to be in these moments when I feel the most supported personally. So many people made a point of reaching out to check on my family post-election.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Support a Nonbinary or Transgender Child<\/h2>\n<p>Through all of this, I\u2019ve learned that the real problem isn\u2019t my child\u2019s gender identity\u2014it\u2019s the world\u2019s response to it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even though my husband and I are liberal, open-minded people, we weren\u2019t immune to our kid\u2019s fear of coming out. Some of their first connections with other members of the trans and nonbinary community was on social media. This community welcomed them, but it was also rife with stories of rejection. It made our kid wonder:<em> Will my own parents accept me?<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Honestly, I get it. We live in a culture that is constantly telling trans and nonbinary kids they are a problem. As parents, we have to work twice as hard to let our kids know that our love and acceptance is unconditional. We fight an uphill battle every day just to help our kids find some sense of safety in the world.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here\u2019s what I know:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Parenting a trans or nonbinary kid isn\u2019t inherently more difficult than parenting any other kid.<\/li>\n<li>The true challenges come from outsiders \u2013 the people who seem hell-bent on making life harder for our kids simply because of who they are.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Building a Support System: Where Parents Can Find Help<\/h3>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thankfully, there are some strong, supportive communities out there. Two that I have found particularly helpful are on Facebook:<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><em><strong>Whether you\u2019re here as a parent or an ally, I thank you deeply for reading. We\u2019re in this together. <\/strong>\u2013Karin<\/em><\/p>\n<p>____________________________<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">References:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Butler, J. (1990) Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. London: Routledge.<\/li>\n<li>Durwood L., McLaughlin K.A., &amp; Olson K.R. (2017). Mental health and self-worth in socially transitioned transgender youth.\u00a0Journal of the American Academy of Child &amp; Adolescent Psychiatry, 56, 116-123<\/li>\n<li>Johns M.M,. Lowry R., Andrzejewski J., et al. (2019) Transgender Identity and Experiences of Violence Victimization, Substance Use, Suicide Risk, and Sexual Risk Behaviors Among High School Students \u2014 19 States and Large Urban School Districts, 2017. MMWR Morbidity &amp; Mortality Weekly Report,\u00a068,\u00a067\u201371.<\/li>\n<li>Kann, L., McManus, T., Harris, W.A., Shanklin, S.L., Flint, K.H., Queen, B., et al. (2018) Youth risk behavior surveillance-United States, 2017.\u00a0Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report Surveillance Summaries, 67(8), 1-114.<\/li>\n<li>Meyer, I.H. (2003) Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations: conceptual issues and research evidence.\u00a0Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674-697.<\/li>\n<li>The Trevor Project. (2020). National Survey on LGBTQ Mental Health. New York, New York: The Trevor Project. https:\/\/www.thetrevorproject.org\/survey-2024\/#intro<\/li>\n<li>https:\/\/www.abct.org\/featured-articles\/why-pronouns-are-important\/<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2025\/03\/parenting-a-trans-nonbinary-child\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Parenting is full of unexpected challenges, but I never expected that simply stating my child\u2019s nonbinary gender identity would become a political act. As a Gen Xer with two kids\u2014a 24-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old nonbinary child\u2014I\u2019ve seen firsthand how something as deeply personal as gender identity is now a battleground for debate and an &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13668","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fitness"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.8 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Parenting is full of unexpected challenges, but I never expected that simply stating my child\u2019s nonbinary gender identity would become a political act. 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