{"id":12641,"date":"2024-12-10T18:09:08","date_gmt":"2024-12-10T11:09:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=12641"},"modified":"2024-12-10T18:09:08","modified_gmt":"2024-12-10T11:09:08","slug":"from-people-pleasing-to-the-power-of-saying-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/?p=12641","title":{"rendered":"From People Pleasing to the Power of Saying \u201cNo\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-316070 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/sp-ao.shortpixel.ai\/client\/to_webp,q_glossy,ret_img,w_300,h_200\/https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/shutterstock_2384875169-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Permission to Stop People Pleasing\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\"\/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-316070 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/shutterstock_2384875169-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Permission to Stop People Pleasing\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/shutterstock_2384875169-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/shutterstock_2384875169-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/shutterstock_2384875169-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/shutterstock_2384875169-1536x1025.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/shutterstock_2384875169-2048x1367.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/shutterstock_2384875169-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\"\/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Have you ever done something simply because it was expected of you? Welcome to the world of People Pleasing.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<h2><strong>Confessions of a Former People Pleaser<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>During the summer, our local high school basketball coach\u2014let\u2019s call him Mr. B\u2014drove an ice cream truck. One day, he spotted me on the playground, standing head-and-shoulders above the other kids, and decided my future: I was going to play basketball for him in high school.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>He didn\u2019t ask if I liked basketball or even I wanted to play. Mr. B just told me I was going to play for him. I remember nodding along, feeling that familiar tug to go along with whatever adults said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>At the time I <em>was<\/em> playing basketball in a rec league at my elementary school. The game came easily (I was taller than everyone else), and I loved being active, and loved to play.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>Summer after summer, every time I saw Mr. B in his ice cream truck he reminded me that he couldn\u2019t wait for me to play for him. Basketball in high school became part of the plan, part of my future was already written. Without ever deciding, I took it as fact. It never occurred to me to say \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>An adult told me I was going to do something. So, I would do it. I let Mr. B\u2019s expectations, my dad\u2019s hopes, even my classmates\u2019 assumptions about being \u201cthe tall girl\u201d crowd out my own desires.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>Except\u2026 by the time I hit high school, I didn\u2019t enjoy basketball anymore. The once playful game now felt combative. The physical person-to-person aggressiveness required to play competitively went against something deep inside me. Rather than embracing it as a hint, I assumed it was a flaw.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>I kept playing, believing I must still like it because everyone expected me to.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>The funny thing? I didn\u2019t even realize until years later, that I actually hated it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>This is what <a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2016\/01\/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser\/\">people-pleasers<\/a> do: we absorb others\u2019 wants and assume they\u2019re our own. We become so good at saying \u201cyes\u201d that we forget \u201cno\u201d is even an option. I\u2019d put so much time and energy into making people happy, fitting into their mold, that I didn\u2019t even know what <i>I<\/i> wanted.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><h2><b>A Deeper Issue: Raising People Pleasing Girls<\/b><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>I know my experience isn\u2019t unique. It reflects a bigger issue: from a young age, girls in particular are taught to please. We\u2019re encouraged to put others\u2019 needs and desires above our own. We\u2019re told it\u2019s \u201cnice,\u201d even \u201cpolite.\u201d But in reality, it sets us up for struggles with anxiety, depression, and perfectionism.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>We\u2019re taught to look pleasing, act pleasant, to make others happy without <a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2017\/05\/letting-go-expectations-can-make-day-easier\/\">considering our own happiness<\/a>. But the thing is, while we\u2019re so busy trying not to let others down, we\u2019re letting down the only person who\u2019s happiness we actually have control over: ours.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><h2><b>Bringing Mindfulness to the Madness<\/b><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>When people-pleasing becomes so deeply ingrained, we don\u2019t even notice. This is where mindfulness comes in.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>Mindfulness lets us take a step back and see these patterns clearly, maybe for the first time. For me, yoga was the turning point. Yoga was the first time anyone asked me what <i>I<\/i> liked, what felt good in <i>my<\/i> body, what <i>I<\/i> wanted. It opened the door to the most empowering word I\u2019ve ever learned: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>Saying \u201cno\u201d wasn\u2019t easy. It felt uncomfortable and unnatural. But every time I said it, I felt a deep relief\u2014like my body was releasing a breath I didn\u2019t know I\u2019d been holding.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>I still catch myself in old patterns sometimes, slipping back into people-pleasing. But with mindful awareness, I recognize it, step back, and do a \u201cgut check.\u201d Literally. I feel disconnected from myself physically in my belly.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>I can ask, \u201cIs this what <i>I<\/i> want?\u201d It\u2019s a practice, and every time I choose myself, I\u2019m honoring that kid who wanted to play just for the joy of it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>So I\u2019ll ask you: What would you do if no one was watching?\u2026 If no one was expecting anything from you?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>It might feel strange \u2013 perhaps a little selfish at first. But trust me, in the long run, it\u2019s the most self-honoring and liberating choice you can make.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p>As a parent, this is what I hope to teach and model for my kids: To never let anyone else\u2019s expectations or desires supersede their own.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Confession time: When is the last time you let someone else make a choice for you?<\/strong> What would you have chosen instead? ~ Karin<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/fitbottomedgirls.com\/2024\/12\/from-people-pleasing-to-the-power-of-saying-no\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever done something simply because it was expected of you? Welcome to the world of People Pleasing. Confessions of a Former People Pleaser During the summer, our local high school basketball coach\u2014let\u2019s call him Mr. B\u2014drove an ice cream truck. One day, he spotted me on the playground, standing head-and-shoulders above the other &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fitness"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12641"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12641\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loudhdtv.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}